Ladies and Gentlemen:
In lieu of a posting the day after Christmas, I'm going to refer you to the comments section of the prior post where I wished everyone a Merry Christmas. I do so for two reasons:
1.) Sir Charles left a beautiful message on Christmas's past
2.) Dave left a message
For those of you who don't know, Dave, whoever he may be, has taken it upon himself to become my radical-liberal overseer, taking delight in pointing out the errors of my ways. Here is Dave's note to me for December 26th:
"OK, it's the 26th.
Can we put away the bells and kettles, close the soup kitchens, take down the "Peace on Earth" banners and get back to the homo-hating, immigrant bashing, controlling women's rights, fear mongering, imperialist, war fighting, corporate welfare, and tax cuts for the rich?"
I would like to believe that Dave was just busting my chops and left the note above as a facetious post-Christmas offering. The only other option is that Dave is really serious and is ready to jump back on the hate-wagon as soon as possible.
I'm sure Dave will take the time to let us know his intent, so I will reserve any further comment until we here from Dave, other than to share my response in the comments section as well:
"God Bless You Dave - I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I pray that in the New Year you'll find a way to have that chip surgically removed from your shoulder and the stick removed from the aperture of your hindquarters."
Just for future reference Dave, Christmas is a very difficult time for some of us. I spent most of my day trying to focus on my grandchildren and not dwell on the fact that its been a little more than a year since my daughter died in my arms. Your petty attempts at either humor or sarcasm are duly noted, and I pray that you never have to experience the devastating loss of a child like I did. I'm not the first parent to lose a child and I won't be the last, so I'm not looking for any special consideration from you Dave, I only wish you the best and pray that somehow God manages to touch your life and bring you peace.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Merry Christmas - It's Okay To Say It
I'd like to start off by wishing each and every one of you a Merry Christmas!
There, I said it and the world still turns.
If you chose not to say it, the same thing will almost certainly happen.
At this time of the year it is especially important for Christians everywhere to remember not only what we celebrate, but some of the things it means to be a Christian here in America.
It means you don't have to worry if there's no nativity scene on government property - that's how we keep the church and the state separated. We're all free to worship or not, so consideration for the feelings of others need not be associated with any religious activity - it's just courtesy.
It means you don't have to worry when you say "Merry Christmas" to anyone. Most people understand you're just being friendly and wishing them the best of the spirit of the season. If they're offended, just apologize and offer them the best of the season. Just remember to be Christian in your definition of "best of the season". (Reindeer chips in their hot cocoa is not Christian)
It means that being a Christian in America is usually not a life-threatening activity, but that's not the case everywhere in the world. We really should be incredibly thankful for being born into a time and place where freedom is our foundation. Imperfect as it often is, there's no place else I'd rather be.
It means that even if there is an assault on Christmas as some would promote, we really don't need to be all that concerned about it.
Of all the people in the past 2007+ years, Jesus Christ is the last person who would be concerned if you didn't want to celebrate His birthday. The uproar over the use of two little words like "Merry Christmas" will fade into time, but the words and actions of Jesus Christ will continue to resonate through the ages.
Thanks for everything Jesus & Happy Birthday . . .
and all I can say to those of you who continue to honor me with your visits:
There, I said it and the world still turns.
If you chose not to say it, the same thing will almost certainly happen.
At this time of the year it is especially important for Christians everywhere to remember not only what we celebrate, but some of the things it means to be a Christian here in America.
It means you don't have to worry if there's no nativity scene on government property - that's how we keep the church and the state separated. We're all free to worship or not, so consideration for the feelings of others need not be associated with any religious activity - it's just courtesy.
It means you don't have to worry when you say "Merry Christmas" to anyone. Most people understand you're just being friendly and wishing them the best of the spirit of the season. If they're offended, just apologize and offer them the best of the season. Just remember to be Christian in your definition of "best of the season". (Reindeer chips in their hot cocoa is not Christian)
It means that being a Christian in America is usually not a life-threatening activity, but that's not the case everywhere in the world. We really should be incredibly thankful for being born into a time and place where freedom is our foundation. Imperfect as it often is, there's no place else I'd rather be.
It means that even if there is an assault on Christmas as some would promote, we really don't need to be all that concerned about it.
Of all the people in the past 2007+ years, Jesus Christ is the last person who would be concerned if you didn't want to celebrate His birthday. The uproar over the use of two little words like "Merry Christmas" will fade into time, but the words and actions of Jesus Christ will continue to resonate through the ages.
Thanks for everything Jesus & Happy Birthday . . .
and all I can say to those of you who continue to honor me with your visits:
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Animals: The Good-The Bad-The Fugly
THE GOOD
Daisy is the latest addition to the menagerie here, bringing the total to 3 dogs and 2 cats. She's been with us almost four months now, but still has a lot of kitten in her growing feline form. I had been doing laundry most of the day, used the final dryer sheet, and was awaiting the return of my wife to dry the final load of the day. I left the door to the front loading dryer open, ready to just toss in a couple of sheets, close the door and start the clothes drying.
After the usual hubbub had settled from the unloading and packing away of a week's worth of groceries, I grabbed the dryer sheets, tossed a couple in the open door, closed the door and started the dryer up.
I heard a thumping sound that reminded me of sneakers, or maybe boots left in a dryer. My grandson had been outside playing in the snow earlier, so I suspected he had tossed his boots right in without caring what else was in there.
I stopped the dryer and opened the door. That darn cat literally flew out of that dryer so fast that he was out of the dryer and out of the room before my butt hit the floor. Startled but not all that surprised - knowing how cats like to hide away - I sat there and just laughed my fool head off.
Driving Miss Daisy in deed.
THE BAD
And now, a couple of more animal related stories, starting with a salute to my brother Joe. He worked in Wrangle, Alaska for over a year, helping to bring a major power line through. While traveling the wilder portions of the line, he carried a pistol with him in case he happened to run into a bear. Had he been aware of the bear below, he would have immediately recognized the fact that he would have been better off slapping a C.O.D. sticker on his body and hoping there was enough left to ship home.
This gentleman, a member of the U.S. Forest Service, was out hunting deer when he encountered this behemoth. Coming in a just over 1,600 pounds, standing 12'6" at the shoulder and 14' at the head, this lucky gentlemen emptied his 7mm Magnum, semi-automatic rifle into the grizzly, dropping it a few feet from him. Still alive, he then finished him off with his pistol.
The remains of two humans were found inside the bear, and after backtracking, they located one of the bodies and an emptied .38 caliber pistol nearby. The second body was never located.
Reminds me of the atheist walking in the woods who encountered such a bear. He dropped to his knees and screamed "Oh my God!".
At those words, time stood still, bright light encompassed him, and the atheist heard a voice say to him:
"You have denied my existence all these years; you've taught others that I don't exist and have gone so far as to credit the existence of the universe to cosmic chance - so now I am to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." (Thanks JR - I enjoyed that one!)
THE FUGLY
The Naked Mole-Rat exists and can be found in Africa. Based upon the picture below, I can only hope that God does not have any odd reincarnation plans for me. As for the inevitable comparisons between the Naked Mole-Rat and yours truly, I have been called a dick from time to time, but I do not have buck teeth thank you very much.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The Summer of '64
Living in the Town of Watson in 1964 was a slice of Americana now gone forever. With no laptops, video games, and the ability to receive only one channel on our TV, there was not a lot to keep one indoors during the summer.
Thank God there was baseball.
If my brother and I weren't on the side of the house playing imaginary games by fielding ground balls and popups, or playing pitcher and catcher, we were practicing our hitting skills along side the house. Although we tried desperately not to go to right field, the number of windows replaced in my parents bedroom will attest to our inability to pull the ball all the time.
We were actually ahead of the curve on women's rights. Not because we were noble or anything like that, we were pragmatic. Very seldom could you field even 7 players on a side, so the girls were always welcome to play, albeit the last ones picked. Except for Mousey - she could play!
We'd show up at the open field at Petrie's Corners around 9:30 am for the morning session, home for lunch, back around 1:00 pm for the afternoon session, then dinner and a final game of the day until it got too dark to see the ball. Peter & Eleanor Biche owned the bar on the corner where you could get Mallo cups and a soda for less than a quarter, so our concession stand was close at hand if we had the need for refreshment.
Then it was home to listen to the game on the radio.
Some of my earliest recollections are listening to Yankee baseball on the radio. The voice of Mel Allen is a voice that my children will never hear, much to their detriment. There's something about listening to a baseball game on the radio that was magical, and I still love to listen to games when I'm traveling.
By this time you've probably come to the realization that baseball was pretty much all I lived for up until I was 14. If the summer of '64 was baseball, the summer of '65 was girls and life has never been the same since.
Thank God there was baseball.
If my brother and I weren't on the side of the house playing imaginary games by fielding ground balls and popups, or playing pitcher and catcher, we were practicing our hitting skills along side the house. Although we tried desperately not to go to right field, the number of windows replaced in my parents bedroom will attest to our inability to pull the ball all the time.
We were actually ahead of the curve on women's rights. Not because we were noble or anything like that, we were pragmatic. Very seldom could you field even 7 players on a side, so the girls were always welcome to play, albeit the last ones picked. Except for Mousey - she could play!
We'd show up at the open field at Petrie's Corners around 9:30 am for the morning session, home for lunch, back around 1:00 pm for the afternoon session, then dinner and a final game of the day until it got too dark to see the ball. Peter & Eleanor Biche owned the bar on the corner where you could get Mallo cups and a soda for less than a quarter, so our concession stand was close at hand if we had the need for refreshment.
Then it was home to listen to the game on the radio.
Some of my earliest recollections are listening to Yankee baseball on the radio. The voice of Mel Allen is a voice that my children will never hear, much to their detriment. There's something about listening to a baseball game on the radio that was magical, and I still love to listen to games when I'm traveling.
By this time you've probably come to the realization that baseball was pretty much all I lived for up until I was 14. If the summer of '64 was baseball, the summer of '65 was girls and life has never been the same since.
My brother Joe and I played on a team called "Young's Yankees", named after Judge Fred Youngs of Lowville. We had one of those seasons where everything just fell into place. We had great pitching and batting averages so gaudy that I still have to look at the newspaper clippings to confirm that we did so well (Thanks Mom!)
We won the regular season title and the Lowville Little League Championship, and then we went on to the Lewis County Fair for the County Championship. There are two things about that game that have stayed with me over the years. First, I can still remember Mr. Kibling (baseball coach at LACS) being the umpire that day. After a swing my first time at bat, he told me I really should hold my bat higher in my stance. I hit the next pitch over the centerfielders head for a home run - so you know why I remember that incident.
The other incident was memorable only because I wasn't killed.
I tried to steal home without the batter being aware that I was coming. Luckily, I was still far enough away as he swung the bat that neither the bat nor the ball caught me in the noggin, much to the dismay of future liberals and my ex-wife.
We won the Lewis County Championship that year. The patch that you see above was one given to every person who participated in the county tournament that year. The item directly below that was something that only the guys on Young's Yankees got - a trip to the fourth game of the 1964 World Series between the Yankees and the Cardinals.
To a young man who had grown up idolizing Mickey Mantle (who didn't - except the Red Sox nation), this was the ultimate. I barely slept the night before and I couldn't wait to get going. I again have only two memories of that day that stick out:
1.) Mickey Mantle won the game in the bottom of the 9th inning with a home run. Although they eventually lost the series, this will forever be my greatest sports moment.
2.) On the way back, I can remember Dave Markham's father and one of the other father's who was driving having a race on the thruway. I'm sure they were drinking sodas at the game and thus were completely sober when they were entertaining us boys with a good old game of "Catch Us If You Can". Forty years after the fact I think it's safe to reveal this now.
So why a recollection of sandlot baseball in 1964?
To get the taste of disgust out of my mouth.
Give Roger Maris back his record, same thing with Hank Aaron and anyone else who owns a "Roid-Record". It is unfortunate that the majority of the evidence is circumstantial and based on the word of an ex-club house worker who's credulity is questionable. In any instance where there is definitive proof of steroid use, penalties need to be imposed.
Baseball needs to make a decision - do you want to play the game as it was intended to be played, or do you let everyone become a chemically enhanced ballplayer.
Actually, they could have two leagues - one for the normal human beings and MLFB - Major League Freak Baseball. Nah - bad idea.
It's a bad idea only because of what it is doing to our children. When my son played football in Amsterdam, there were players on the high school football team who were doing steroids. When he was offered a "whole series" for $40, he turned them down. Since that time there have been numerous arrests in Amsterdam of people he played with who were continuing to supply steroids to high school athletes.
There is the danger, and there is the reason these baseball players need to be severely disciplined. If we fail to do so, what kind of message are we sending to our children?
As a basic rule of thumb, the acronym K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) should apply. If you test positive once for steroids, you're suspended for a year. A second infraction is a life time ban from the sport. There are those who would suggest that the life time ban should apply after the first incident, but think everyone deserves at least one shot to prove that they've changed.
There are massive amounts of money at stake here, that's why the players union has continued to stonewall and drag their feet. In lieu of an essay on how unions are ruining education, sports and manufacturing, suffice it to say that this is one time Congress should stick it's nose in where it belongs. If Bud Selig and the union reps can't put together a program to stop this problem, then Congress must.
You will recall that I opposed the effort by Massachusetts lawmakers to ban spanking. In my opinion, that's a direct interference with the parents right to raise their child as they see fit, barring any physical abuse. In this case, kids have died - many by suicide - because of the effects of steroids.
Therein lies the difference, and the reason Congress needs to keep an eye on what happens in the coming weeks. If Selig and the players can't get it done, we need to get it done for them and make it painfully obvious to every teenage athlete in this country that performance enhancement drugs of any type will never be acceptable!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
New Jersey Got It Right - Nancy Didn't
The New Jersey state legislators today enacted a prohibition against the death penalty, even for the most heinous of murders. I salute them for their actions. Polling in the state indicated that a substantial majority of the people polled still wanted the death penalty for the worst offenders, but the legislative body, under the control of NJ Democrats, stuck with total elimination of the death penalty in the state.
I suspect that there are those of you reading this who are aghast and/or surprised at me casting my lot with the Democrats of New Jersey, but I've expressed my opposition to the death penalty in a previous post as well, just shortly after two New York State Troopers were killed. (See "Death and Life" - April 25, 2007).
Now if we could only give an unborn child the same protection as we're giving to convicted murderers, then our position on the sanctity of life becomes a great deal more logical.
Logic, however, must be an elusive concept for Speaker Pelosi. Outwitted, outFoxed (eat your heart out TF) and out-maneuvered at every turn, she resorted today to saying the "...Republicans like this war ..." Later, in an effort to recant and show remorse, she clarified her statement to say that she meant to say that "...they just support this war."
Imagine that. There are some Americans out there who support our troops and our objectives.
All sarcasm aside, here's where I think she and the rest of the Democrats have miscalculated. They misread their victory in the last election. Rather than an overwhelming desire to just quit and get out, the majority of Americans want the damn thing over, but they want it over with our objectives met.
So what does "objectives met" really mean? Though I hate to use such a simplistic characterization, for many of us I suspect it may be a simple matter of pride in our country; a belief that we went there as liberators not conquerors, and we'll leave when the Iraqi's are ready to take control. The surge would not be working if local tribal leaders were not cooperating in many areas, such as Al Anbar province. As would likely be the case in most countries, they would like us out of there as quickly as possible and will be only too happy to let us know when they think they're ready to assume full control.
In an effort to maintain my "glass is half-full" outlook on life, I believe that we'll begin to see the number of troops start to diminish as early as the spring of '08. If the politicians in Iraq can get their work done, we could see significant reductions in troop numbers in Iraq by summer. If the Iraqi politicians fail in their duty to their country and take their two month break next summer without accomplishing anything, then it will be time to start winnowing down the number of troops - regardless of the military situation on the ground.
As far as Speaker Pelosi is concerned, I know she misspoke herself, and even her clarification was lacking in tact, but she did not mean to infer that Republicans "like the war". There are those who would echo her initial sentiments with no reluctance at all, but most of us see it for what it was - a mistake.
I just wish she weren't such an apt apostle of the Peter Principle.
I suspect that there are those of you reading this who are aghast and/or surprised at me casting my lot with the Democrats of New Jersey, but I've expressed my opposition to the death penalty in a previous post as well, just shortly after two New York State Troopers were killed. (See "Death and Life" - April 25, 2007).
Now if we could only give an unborn child the same protection as we're giving to convicted murderers, then our position on the sanctity of life becomes a great deal more logical.
Logic, however, must be an elusive concept for Speaker Pelosi. Outwitted, outFoxed (eat your heart out TF) and out-maneuvered at every turn, she resorted today to saying the "...Republicans like this war ..." Later, in an effort to recant and show remorse, she clarified her statement to say that she meant to say that "...they just support this war."
Imagine that. There are some Americans out there who support our troops and our objectives.
All sarcasm aside, here's where I think she and the rest of the Democrats have miscalculated. They misread their victory in the last election. Rather than an overwhelming desire to just quit and get out, the majority of Americans want the damn thing over, but they want it over with our objectives met.
So what does "objectives met" really mean? Though I hate to use such a simplistic characterization, for many of us I suspect it may be a simple matter of pride in our country; a belief that we went there as liberators not conquerors, and we'll leave when the Iraqi's are ready to take control. The surge would not be working if local tribal leaders were not cooperating in many areas, such as Al Anbar province. As would likely be the case in most countries, they would like us out of there as quickly as possible and will be only too happy to let us know when they think they're ready to assume full control.
In an effort to maintain my "glass is half-full" outlook on life, I believe that we'll begin to see the number of troops start to diminish as early as the spring of '08. If the politicians in Iraq can get their work done, we could see significant reductions in troop numbers in Iraq by summer. If the Iraqi politicians fail in their duty to their country and take their two month break next summer without accomplishing anything, then it will be time to start winnowing down the number of troops - regardless of the military situation on the ground.
As far as Speaker Pelosi is concerned, I know she misspoke herself, and even her clarification was lacking in tact, but she did not mean to infer that Republicans "like the war". There are those who would echo her initial sentiments with no reluctance at all, but most of us see it for what it was - a mistake.
I just wish she weren't such an apt apostle of the Peter Principle.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Candidate of The Month Club?
You've got to hand it Barack Obama when it comes to a celebrity endorsement.
Over the past weekend Hillary got an endorsement from the Mayor of San Francisco. If I'd been a member of Hillary's staff I would have told Gavin thanks, but lets not make a big deal out of it. Sodom on the Sea is not exactly heartland America, and his endorsement is as likely to turn off as many people as it turns on - an appropriate phrasing I suppose as far as San Francisco is concerned.
John Edwards got a couple of big celebrity endorsements as well: Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn. That means he's got the calypso vote and most of the folks at S.A.G. (That used to stand for Screen Actors Guild, but has been changed to Silly-Ass-Goofballs to reflect their relevance to American society.)
Senator Obama simply crushed the competition. I'll grant you that fannies in the seats to see Oprah doesn't necessarily translate into Obama votes, but considering the fact that names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses and donations of time and/or money were required to get tickets to the event, this was pure genius on the part of those responsible.
I'm not sure if this is democracy at work or just the Mickey Mouse Club redux, but whatever it is, it can do nothing but help Senator Obama. Now before you libs start passing frozen chickens, my reference to the Mickey Mouse Club is complimentary, not negative. It is true that when I "Mickey Mouse" some repair around the house (duct tape required), the phrase does not induce confidence in the trustworthiness of the repairs. In this case however, I'm referring to the marketing brilliance of Disney, a brilliance that's still blinding even today.
Consider the voting population in terms of a swimming pool. There is a shallow end and a deeper end in most pools, and in our voting pool there is quite a bit of shallow water. Not everyone is as afflicted as we are my friends. Regardless of political persuasion, what other conclusion are we to reach when we have such a dismal turn out for elections?
In the shallow end of the pool, it doesn't take as much to roil the waters as it does at the deep end, and right now Oprah is just starting to get her feet wet. The cult of celebrity has always been a player in politics, but I think Oprah brings a dimension to the situation that is above and beyond what anyone else in this country can bring. Don't ask me to explain it, because I've never forgiven her for introducing Dr. Phil to us, but I have the feeling that she will soon be playing a much larger roll in this election cycle.
It's not just the celebrity aspect, because you have to have some substance to go with the smoke and the mirrors. Though I'm in total disagreement with his position on Iraq and abortion, I must admit that Barack Obama has brought something to this election that I had hoped Fred Thompson could bring - excitement and hope.
In the summer of 1968, after Dr. King was murdered, I was one of millions of teenagers who saw in Bobby Kennedy the hope for a better future, even though I was a member of the Young Republicans Club. Once he was killed, I began to question everything about my government and wonder what would cause our nation to writhe in such agony. I became a liberal and voted for George McGovern in 1972. I was so disgusted by our government that by the time we got around to Carter and Reagan that I voted for John Anderson. After four years of Reagan I was changed forever - a thought that horrifies some and makes others nod in agreement.
The point of that brief journey through part of my voting history is this: A President needs to be a leader. Your politics become secondary to the voting population when you can inject and infuse the people with confidence, energy, and most importantly of all, hope. The life long bureaucrats pretty much control the basic operations of government, and our balance of government assures that very little gets done by anyone without a true mandate from the people, so we should never make the mistake of underestimating the importance of "persona" in a leader.
George Bush had it atop the rubble with the bullhorn in his hand, but he lost it almost immediately and has failed to find it again.
Hillary has a "persona", but when half the population would cast you as the witch in the latest stage production of "Hansel & Gretel", that's not the persona needed to lead the country.
There is no other candidate, Republican or Democrat, that is currently capable of creating this feeling. Mike Huckabee may have a shot, but it may be nothing other than a flash in the pan - too soon to tell.
At least at this stage of the game, Senator Obama is getting the best out of a celebrity endorsement that a candidate can expect: plenty of airtime, plenty of print, and plenty of names to add to their database.
Like I said, you've got to hand it Senator Obama, and Oprah may well do that with the nomination.
Over the past weekend Hillary got an endorsement from the Mayor of San Francisco. If I'd been a member of Hillary's staff I would have told Gavin thanks, but lets not make a big deal out of it. Sodom on the Sea is not exactly heartland America, and his endorsement is as likely to turn off as many people as it turns on - an appropriate phrasing I suppose as far as San Francisco is concerned.
John Edwards got a couple of big celebrity endorsements as well: Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn. That means he's got the calypso vote and most of the folks at S.A.G. (That used to stand for Screen Actors Guild, but has been changed to Silly-Ass-Goofballs to reflect their relevance to American society.)
Senator Obama simply crushed the competition. I'll grant you that fannies in the seats to see Oprah doesn't necessarily translate into Obama votes, but considering the fact that names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses and donations of time and/or money were required to get tickets to the event, this was pure genius on the part of those responsible.
I'm not sure if this is democracy at work or just the Mickey Mouse Club redux, but whatever it is, it can do nothing but help Senator Obama. Now before you libs start passing frozen chickens, my reference to the Mickey Mouse Club is complimentary, not negative. It is true that when I "Mickey Mouse" some repair around the house (duct tape required), the phrase does not induce confidence in the trustworthiness of the repairs. In this case however, I'm referring to the marketing brilliance of Disney, a brilliance that's still blinding even today.
Consider the voting population in terms of a swimming pool. There is a shallow end and a deeper end in most pools, and in our voting pool there is quite a bit of shallow water. Not everyone is as afflicted as we are my friends. Regardless of political persuasion, what other conclusion are we to reach when we have such a dismal turn out for elections?
In the shallow end of the pool, it doesn't take as much to roil the waters as it does at the deep end, and right now Oprah is just starting to get her feet wet. The cult of celebrity has always been a player in politics, but I think Oprah brings a dimension to the situation that is above and beyond what anyone else in this country can bring. Don't ask me to explain it, because I've never forgiven her for introducing Dr. Phil to us, but I have the feeling that she will soon be playing a much larger roll in this election cycle.
It's not just the celebrity aspect, because you have to have some substance to go with the smoke and the mirrors. Though I'm in total disagreement with his position on Iraq and abortion, I must admit that Barack Obama has brought something to this election that I had hoped Fred Thompson could bring - excitement and hope.
In the summer of 1968, after Dr. King was murdered, I was one of millions of teenagers who saw in Bobby Kennedy the hope for a better future, even though I was a member of the Young Republicans Club. Once he was killed, I began to question everything about my government and wonder what would cause our nation to writhe in such agony. I became a liberal and voted for George McGovern in 1972. I was so disgusted by our government that by the time we got around to Carter and Reagan that I voted for John Anderson. After four years of Reagan I was changed forever - a thought that horrifies some and makes others nod in agreement.
The point of that brief journey through part of my voting history is this: A President needs to be a leader. Your politics become secondary to the voting population when you can inject and infuse the people with confidence, energy, and most importantly of all, hope. The life long bureaucrats pretty much control the basic operations of government, and our balance of government assures that very little gets done by anyone without a true mandate from the people, so we should never make the mistake of underestimating the importance of "persona" in a leader.
George Bush had it atop the rubble with the bullhorn in his hand, but he lost it almost immediately and has failed to find it again.
Hillary has a "persona", but when half the population would cast you as the witch in the latest stage production of "Hansel & Gretel", that's not the persona needed to lead the country.
There is no other candidate, Republican or Democrat, that is currently capable of creating this feeling. Mike Huckabee may have a shot, but it may be nothing other than a flash in the pan - too soon to tell.
At least at this stage of the game, Senator Obama is getting the best out of a celebrity endorsement that a candidate can expect: plenty of airtime, plenty of print, and plenty of names to add to their database.
Like I said, you've got to hand it Senator Obama, and Oprah may well do that with the nomination.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
NBC - Nothing But Crap
A copy of my email submission to NBC and MSNBC:
Please rest assured that an NBC program will never contaminate my TV screen again. Your pathetic excuse for not running an ad that thanks our troops is not only transparent, but fits in nicely with the biased reporting you provide through the likes of Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman.
You are of course entitled to represent the opinion of those in power at your corporation, and we are entitled to turn you off and brand you for the spineless weasels you are.
With no respect whatsoever,
Ben Blair
When even the flagship of the left fringe, the New York Times, can run the full page ad with the sponsoring groups URL, we are supposed to believe that the standards of NBC won't allow them to run the ad because it has the groups web address. Yeah - right.
I love to listen to the left wail about "fair and balanced" when someone refers to Fox News, but then again, the vast majority of them have never watched Fox News, or have had so limited an exposure as to have an opinion based upon the pinings of like-biased non-viewers. You'll never have to worry about that phrase being applied to NBC or MSNBC, at least not by me.
Much to my distaste, I continue to watch both Matthews and Olberman, but I will admit that I have never watched even a second of Katie Couric. That's because the nice folks at WWNY won't allow us to get a CBS feed from DirectTV - for which I am most grateful. If the Giants happen to be on CBS, I can always jury-rig a coat hanger and get the snowy-feed I was used to growing up, albeit in color - kinda.
Personally, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas - regardless of whether you're Christian or not. It's the one time of the year when liberals can look at conservatives and think that we're almost human, because we really appear to care about others....and, oh golly, they really do hate war too don't they....and they, they use fake trees to keep the earth green .... and ....it's January 1st, it's an election year and the bloodsport will kick into a much higher gear.
I haven't made a choice yet, and even when I do, if you pay attention to me instead of figuring it out for yourself, make sure you sign my guest book - I'd like to be a cult leader someday.
Please rest assured that an NBC program will never contaminate my TV screen again. Your pathetic excuse for not running an ad that thanks our troops is not only transparent, but fits in nicely with the biased reporting you provide through the likes of Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman.
You are of course entitled to represent the opinion of those in power at your corporation, and we are entitled to turn you off and brand you for the spineless weasels you are.
With no respect whatsoever,
Ben Blair
When even the flagship of the left fringe, the New York Times, can run the full page ad with the sponsoring groups URL, we are supposed to believe that the standards of NBC won't allow them to run the ad because it has the groups web address. Yeah - right.
I love to listen to the left wail about "fair and balanced" when someone refers to Fox News, but then again, the vast majority of them have never watched Fox News, or have had so limited an exposure as to have an opinion based upon the pinings of like-biased non-viewers. You'll never have to worry about that phrase being applied to NBC or MSNBC, at least not by me.
Much to my distaste, I continue to watch both Matthews and Olberman, but I will admit that I have never watched even a second of Katie Couric. That's because the nice folks at WWNY won't allow us to get a CBS feed from DirectTV - for which I am most grateful. If the Giants happen to be on CBS, I can always jury-rig a coat hanger and get the snowy-feed I was used to growing up, albeit in color - kinda.
Personally, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas - regardless of whether you're Christian or not. It's the one time of the year when liberals can look at conservatives and think that we're almost human, because we really appear to care about others....and, oh golly, they really do hate war too don't they....and they, they use fake trees to keep the earth green .... and ....it's January 1st, it's an election year and the bloodsport will kick into a much higher gear.
I haven't made a choice yet, and even when I do, if you pay attention to me instead of figuring it out for yourself, make sure you sign my guest book - I'd like to be a cult leader someday.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
A Special 50th Birthday Wish
I can't make out the name of the artist, but the date is 1976. I am well acquainted with the subject of the drawing. Her name was Deborah Brower, but she changed her last name to Blair some 29 years ago. This beautiful young lady will turn 50 on Thursday, December 6, 2007.
Tomorrow, December 5, 2007, will be our daughter Bethany's first anniversary of her birth into heaven.
The inexorable erosion of time will never effect how my wife looks at her birthday now, but it is nonetheless a notable occurrence in her life. We will go out of town tomorrow and find a place to have a celebratory dinner. Even though the pain is as if it were just inflicted, our faith in Beth's passage to God is as celebratory an event as a 50th birthday - so we'll combine the two.
The concept is easy to grasp and simple to put into words - the date of death becomes the new date of birth. Unfortunately, concepts are not salves that can mend a broken heart.
I know that there are many of you who keep us in your prayers, and we dearly appreciate that - thank you.
Monday, December 3, 2007
How Do These Things Happen?
How did the Nazis ever gain power in 1930's Germany?
Preaching a message of German pride, Hitler cajoled and coddled his way into power, assuring everyone that his only concern was restoring the German nation.
V. Putin has followed A. Hitler's lead. With the press under state control, opposition candidates such as Gary Kasparov being arrested, voting irregularities that are usually seen only in certain Chicago wards - Mr. Putin's success was a foregone conclusion and utterly invalid. He will retain the power, even if he does step down and give the title to someone else. When you've been ruled by monarchs and communist dictators for hundreds of years, perhaps the the thought of democracy is too scary - like actually taking responsibility for yourself. If things don't go right, then the monarch or the state can be blamed - but not out loud.
Then we have Benito Jr. in Venezuela who has asked everyone to remain calm. Why not, he still has five more years before his term expires. If you think he's been beaten, you are sadly mistaken. You are only beaten when you stop trying, and Hugo will not stop trying. Congratulations to the people of Venezuela for their vote - just be aware that this was only a battle, not the war.
The biggest revelation of the day: the combined intelligence reports that indicate Iran stopped it's militarily sponsored program to develop a nuclear weapon in 2003. The general consensus now is that the 3,000 centrifuges could be used to develop weapons grade material, but are not currently being used in that fashion - at least as far as anyone knows.
I'm certain that our intelligence services have undergone a dramatic overhaul, and I'm willing to accept their assessment. They also concur that the sanctions have been effective, so we're in a position to consult with our allies and continue negotiations; never, ever taking anything off the table - TR's stick is still useful in the 21st century.
Even while Hitler was schmoozing Neville Chamberlain, the pages of Mein Kempf contained the blueprint for what was to come.
Ahmahdinejahd, denier of the holocaust, has stated repeatedly that Israel will be wiped from the face of the earth.
Nuclear weapons are the quickest way I know of to do that.
Trust with verification is still the order of the day.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
If We Can't Spank Our Kids - Politicians Will Do
When I first heard the story of the Massachusetts legislator who proposed an Anti-Spanking bill, I sloughed it off as just another chapter in liberal-land East. Then I learned that since the 1970's, starting with Sweden, 16 countries now ban any form of corporal punishment. From the heart of liberalism, Boston, the following link provides proof that there are still people capable of cogent thought in Massachusetts:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/editorials/view.bg?articleid=1047417
Let's start with my Dad. I got a few spankings, a lot fewer than what I deserved, but they served their purpose, as well as my Dad's. There was this damn little bird that always told him what we'd done during the day, so just the threat of hearing: "Go down to the cellar!" was oft times enough to forestall the harebrained scheme of the day. Remind me to tell you about the time my brother and I were playing with matches. We were across the road in a little depression with pine needles piled . . . we'll stop there - it's still a painful memory. Not because we got spankings, but because we couldn't play baseball for 2 weeks in the summer! I would have rather had an ass whoopin' every day during that 2 week period if I could have still played baseball.
Now, as far as spanking my kids, I was faced with two very distinctive attitudes towards spanking from Beth and Carissa.
All I had to do was look at Beth and tell her I was going to spank her, and she'd have her back in a corner, pleading for me not to spank her. I never did have to spank her much; I wound up laughing too hard.
Now Carissa was a totally different animal. She was determined never to show pain or cry as long as I was around. I got so sick of hearing "Go ahead and spank me - you can't hurt me!" that I found it pointless to threaten her with spanking anymore. I hate losing to a six year old.
If you're ready for European style socialism here in America, you'll appreciate this post from another site that I'm going to share with you:
If your 3 year old tries to repeatedly climb on a hot stove and you spank him, the state can come in and take your child away because you spanked him.
If you don't spank him and he subsequently burns himself, the state comes in and takes him because you're an unfit parent.
Why not just have the state take all children at birth? They can raise them, train them to be good little socialists, and free up more time for Mommy and Daddy to save the whales.
Please note that I am being entirely facetious, but you get the point.
Actually, I'd be just fine with an anti-spanking law, as long as we, the people, get to spank them, the politicians. It wouldn't have to be anything other than a one day national holiday - we could call it National Paddle Your Politician day. You get one whack at your least favorite politician, which of course would mean that George Bush would be serving the rest of his term standing. Hillary would be whiney, but eventually take the licks because it's worth the power. Her husband, on the other hand, would be absolutely thrilled because spanking usually costs him a little extra.
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/editorials/view.bg?articleid=1047417
Let's start with my Dad. I got a few spankings, a lot fewer than what I deserved, but they served their purpose, as well as my Dad's. There was this damn little bird that always told him what we'd done during the day, so just the threat of hearing: "Go down to the cellar!" was oft times enough to forestall the harebrained scheme of the day. Remind me to tell you about the time my brother and I were playing with matches. We were across the road in a little depression with pine needles piled . . . we'll stop there - it's still a painful memory. Not because we got spankings, but because we couldn't play baseball for 2 weeks in the summer! I would have rather had an ass whoopin' every day during that 2 week period if I could have still played baseball.
Now, as far as spanking my kids, I was faced with two very distinctive attitudes towards spanking from Beth and Carissa.
All I had to do was look at Beth and tell her I was going to spank her, and she'd have her back in a corner, pleading for me not to spank her. I never did have to spank her much; I wound up laughing too hard.
Now Carissa was a totally different animal. She was determined never to show pain or cry as long as I was around. I got so sick of hearing "Go ahead and spank me - you can't hurt me!" that I found it pointless to threaten her with spanking anymore. I hate losing to a six year old.
If you're ready for European style socialism here in America, you'll appreciate this post from another site that I'm going to share with you:
If your 3 year old tries to repeatedly climb on a hot stove and you spank him, the state can come in and take your child away because you spanked him.
If you don't spank him and he subsequently burns himself, the state comes in and takes him because you're an unfit parent.
Why not just have the state take all children at birth? They can raise them, train them to be good little socialists, and free up more time for Mommy and Daddy to save the whales.
Please note that I am being entirely facetious, but you get the point.
Actually, I'd be just fine with an anti-spanking law, as long as we, the people, get to spank them, the politicians. It wouldn't have to be anything other than a one day national holiday - we could call it National Paddle Your Politician day. You get one whack at your least favorite politician, which of course would mean that George Bush would be serving the rest of his term standing. Hillary would be whiney, but eventually take the licks because it's worth the power. Her husband, on the other hand, would be absolutely thrilled because spanking usually costs him a little extra.
A Joke From Ranger Bob
One day the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine. Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she found that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" But there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello. Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine. The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out.."Well, at least Dopey's still alive..."
Thanks Ranger - you don't have to be Dopey to vote for Hillary, but it helps.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she found that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" But there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello. Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine. The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out.."Well, at least Dopey's still alive..."
Thanks Ranger - you don't have to be Dopey to vote for Hillary, but it helps.
Monday, November 26, 2007
So I Had This Relapse...
... I know, I wasn't going to let my political jones take hold of me, but alas, I failed.
So while I'm at it, how many of my liberal brethren:
1.) Believe the surge is working, a la the NY Times & Washington Post reports?
2.) If you do believe it's working, what do you feel we should be doing in the next year?
3.) Think it's all Bush administration propaganda?
Feel free to share your thoughts. I do not edit your posts, and to this point at least, I've never had to delete one for vulgarity. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to language and the use of words - I suppose that's one aspect of liberalism I'll always cherish.
You just need to keep one thing in mind: Just because you have the right, doesn't mean it's right.
So while I'm at it, how many of my liberal brethren:
1.) Believe the surge is working, a la the NY Times & Washington Post reports?
2.) If you do believe it's working, what do you feel we should be doing in the next year?
3.) Think it's all Bush administration propaganda?
Feel free to share your thoughts. I do not edit your posts, and to this point at least, I've never had to delete one for vulgarity. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to language and the use of words - I suppose that's one aspect of liberalism I'll always cherish.
You just need to keep one thing in mind: Just because you have the right, doesn't mean it's right.
It's Still The Border - It's Still The Law
It has been suggested by some that I am a racist. Apparently my stance on immigration left some people feeling I was guilty of employing subtle racism.
As anyone who knows me will tell you, the color of your skin, your religion, your ethnicity, your gender, even your politics are not how I consider anyone. The kind of person you are means everything - just as it does to all of you in your everyday lives. People that you meet face to face are subject to your evaluation, whether you consciously think of it as such or not.
Here, prioritized no less, are my abhorrent views on immigration:
1.) We have been a nation of immigrants from the start, and we will always be a nation that welcomes those who wish to become one of us - an American. If you feel it necessary to apologize to Native Americans for what happened, I won't stop you, but I won't join you either. Different time, different values, and if you feel superior by denigrating the actions that created America, you can have my share of guilt too if it makes you feel better. The possibility that we are one man-made or celestial disaster away from the return of "might makes right" seldom occurs to the civilized sophisticates of today.
2.) We must secure our borders first. Apparently the President and 99% of the politicians in this country haven't been listening to what the majority of Americans want when it comes to immigration. We want secure borders first and foremost.
If you haven't heard of or read the story in the Washington Times, then you owe it to yourself to check this story out. I first heard about it on Fox News, then got to the article link through the Drudge Report. Here's the link: http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071126/NATION/111260034/1001
For as little as $20,000, drug lords have apparently already helped some terrorists cross into this country, a mere 20 miles from Fort Huachuca, the largest intelligence training center the Army has. I know, it could happen on the Canadian border as well. However, if you wish to be pragmatic and intellectually honest, the Mexican border is the priority. To suggest otherwise is nonsense.
Let's pretend for a moment that Henry Waxman says he has proof that this was all a "wag the dog" effort by Dick Cheney, and that's why he's got an irregular heartbeat.
We're still left with all the nightmarish possibilities the human mind is capable of conceiving; we're still left with drug lords that supply the vast majority of cocaine, methamphetamine, pot and heroin to the US; we're still left facing a country that assists its citizens in illegally crossing the border, while the corruption of government does nothing to address the issues that force their citizens to leave in the first place, and we're still left holding the bag in terms of medical costs, jail costs, education costs, court costs, etc. for those who have broken the law in order to get here. I don't know about you, but I'm paying all the freaking taxes I can stand right now!
3.) Create a guest worker program & fine/jail employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens. People of good conscience occupy both sides of the aisles, so a workable program is possible. Blanket amnesty didn't work when President Reagan tried it, and it won't work now either. Gang bangers, anyone with a felony conviction - these folks need to experience jails in their country of origin at the expense of their fellow citizens.
The objective of any immigrant should be to become an American. This current "diversity" drive is rampant in corporate boardrooms, blooming with verbal fertilizer in academia, and hailed by the media as a panacea for the soul of the nation.
I'm in favor of starting up the melting pot again. The first ones in would be the secular progressives and the cowpies at the ACLU. They won't melt, they won't go away, and they won't be injured in any way, but their hot air and BS gets the water to a boiling temperature much faster than wood. Next, we mix in all the legal immigrants who are working towards American citizenship. They want to be in the pot anyway - that's why they came here.
Next, we'll work in those who may have come here illegally, but have stayed out of trouble, raised a family, and have learned, or are trying to learn, how to speak English. Please insert accusations of racism here, the same way some black people do to Bill Cosby when he tells them that black children should be learning how to speak English properly in order to succeed - not Ebonics.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with honoring your heritage. My mother's side were the Bailey's, my father's the Blair's, and if you go back far enough, according to Mr. Darwin, I have relatives that still swing in trees. I hate to toss out a softball like that, but I do enjoy giving you an easy target from time to time.
Finding a workable immigration program should be child's play to our skilled politicians. Acting like children has been the modus operandi of the current Congress, and I don't expect much will happen on the immigration front next year either. The Republicans will tout their milquetoast efforts, and the Democrats will try and please everyone by saying and doing nothing of substance.
It's a hell of a way to run a hot dog stand isn't it? There isn't enough mustard in the world to cover all the wiener-whiners in Washington D.C.
As anyone who knows me will tell you, the color of your skin, your religion, your ethnicity, your gender, even your politics are not how I consider anyone. The kind of person you are means everything - just as it does to all of you in your everyday lives. People that you meet face to face are subject to your evaluation, whether you consciously think of it as such or not.
Here, prioritized no less, are my abhorrent views on immigration:
1.) We have been a nation of immigrants from the start, and we will always be a nation that welcomes those who wish to become one of us - an American. If you feel it necessary to apologize to Native Americans for what happened, I won't stop you, but I won't join you either. Different time, different values, and if you feel superior by denigrating the actions that created America, you can have my share of guilt too if it makes you feel better. The possibility that we are one man-made or celestial disaster away from the return of "might makes right" seldom occurs to the civilized sophisticates of today.
2.) We must secure our borders first. Apparently the President and 99% of the politicians in this country haven't been listening to what the majority of Americans want when it comes to immigration. We want secure borders first and foremost.
If you haven't heard of or read the story in the Washington Times, then you owe it to yourself to check this story out. I first heard about it on Fox News, then got to the article link through the Drudge Report. Here's the link: http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071126/NATION/111260034/1001
For as little as $20,000, drug lords have apparently already helped some terrorists cross into this country, a mere 20 miles from Fort Huachuca, the largest intelligence training center the Army has. I know, it could happen on the Canadian border as well. However, if you wish to be pragmatic and intellectually honest, the Mexican border is the priority. To suggest otherwise is nonsense.
Let's pretend for a moment that Henry Waxman says he has proof that this was all a "wag the dog" effort by Dick Cheney, and that's why he's got an irregular heartbeat.
We're still left with all the nightmarish possibilities the human mind is capable of conceiving; we're still left with drug lords that supply the vast majority of cocaine, methamphetamine, pot and heroin to the US; we're still left facing a country that assists its citizens in illegally crossing the border, while the corruption of government does nothing to address the issues that force their citizens to leave in the first place, and we're still left holding the bag in terms of medical costs, jail costs, education costs, court costs, etc. for those who have broken the law in order to get here. I don't know about you, but I'm paying all the freaking taxes I can stand right now!
3.) Create a guest worker program & fine/jail employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens. People of good conscience occupy both sides of the aisles, so a workable program is possible. Blanket amnesty didn't work when President Reagan tried it, and it won't work now either. Gang bangers, anyone with a felony conviction - these folks need to experience jails in their country of origin at the expense of their fellow citizens.
The objective of any immigrant should be to become an American. This current "diversity" drive is rampant in corporate boardrooms, blooming with verbal fertilizer in academia, and hailed by the media as a panacea for the soul of the nation.
I'm in favor of starting up the melting pot again. The first ones in would be the secular progressives and the cowpies at the ACLU. They won't melt, they won't go away, and they won't be injured in any way, but their hot air and BS gets the water to a boiling temperature much faster than wood. Next, we mix in all the legal immigrants who are working towards American citizenship. They want to be in the pot anyway - that's why they came here.
Next, we'll work in those who may have come here illegally, but have stayed out of trouble, raised a family, and have learned, or are trying to learn, how to speak English. Please insert accusations of racism here, the same way some black people do to Bill Cosby when he tells them that black children should be learning how to speak English properly in order to succeed - not Ebonics.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with honoring your heritage. My mother's side were the Bailey's, my father's the Blair's, and if you go back far enough, according to Mr. Darwin, I have relatives that still swing in trees. I hate to toss out a softball like that, but I do enjoy giving you an easy target from time to time.
Finding a workable immigration program should be child's play to our skilled politicians. Acting like children has been the modus operandi of the current Congress, and I don't expect much will happen on the immigration front next year either. The Republicans will tout their milquetoast efforts, and the Democrats will try and please everyone by saying and doing nothing of substance.
It's a hell of a way to run a hot dog stand isn't it? There isn't enough mustard in the world to cover all the wiener-whiners in Washington D.C.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Ignorance as Bliss
Staying away from newspapers, radio and television is the double-edged sword that lies before me as I continue to struggle with depression. Having been a political junkie since a very early age, going cold turkey has been difficult. The use of the word "junkie" in this sense should carry every negative connotation that one associates with a heroin addict, or any other kind of junkie.
I feel great because I don't have any idea what's going on in the world, for which I also feel guilty. Now there's a line that's just begging for pop psychological interpretation.
I tried to take a quick peak at the Drudge Report the other day, and I saw that Herr Chavez says you'll be a traitor if you don't vote for the change in the law that will allow him to run again in 2012 (refer to my predictions in earlier blogs - anyone could have seen that one coming), the surge in Iraq is going well and even reported as such by the NY Times and the Washington Post (must be they were purchased by a vast right wing conspiracy group), and a true eco-warrier had himself neutered because it's selfish to have children.
I thought it was also necessary to propitiate the species.
(11-25-07 Thanks to Sir C for noting that propigate was the intended meaning and word, not propitiate)
I think I'll just look for the truly odd stories for a while, but then again, a lot of them are on the front page, just above the fold.
I feel great because I don't have any idea what's going on in the world, for which I also feel guilty. Now there's a line that's just begging for pop psychological interpretation.
I tried to take a quick peak at the Drudge Report the other day, and I saw that Herr Chavez says you'll be a traitor if you don't vote for the change in the law that will allow him to run again in 2012 (refer to my predictions in earlier blogs - anyone could have seen that one coming), the surge in Iraq is going well and even reported as such by the NY Times and the Washington Post (must be they were purchased by a vast right wing conspiracy group), and a true eco-warrier had himself neutered because it's selfish to have children.
I thought it was also necessary to propitiate the species.
(11-25-07 Thanks to Sir C for noting that propigate was the intended meaning and word, not propitiate)
I think I'll just look for the truly odd stories for a while, but then again, a lot of them are on the front page, just above the fold.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
You Can Never Tell With Some Guys
I know, I thought the same thing when I first saw the title - what's the big deal? Happens all the time. Then I noticed the canine and I was sari I had made another assumption. Once this story starts making news, look for Governor Spitzer to proclaim dog/marriage licenses legal as long as there is guilt to be assuaged. The gay-lesbian-transgender community will then start a recall effort, supported by all county clerks, dog catchers, and the NRA.
Just when you think its okay being a guy - proud descendant of Adam - you hear of a masculidiot in Florida who makes all men step back in disgust. Imagine winning the lottery and not telling your wife about it. Having given much forethought to how things would proceed, our hero unplugs the TV for days; no radio, no paper - like Wilma is living in Bedrock and doesn't watch Fox News. Anyway, she finds out, gets a lawyer . . . write your own ending. I will not mention the name of this maladroit for fear of giving him unjust recognition. Google away if you must know if the sordid details.
As a species, we should forever give thanks to our maker that He created a man and a woman, and then gave them both the capacity to be as dumb as a box of rocks.
Giving thanks for the brighter side of life is easy once you've had a glimpse of what its like on the darker side.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Life & Love
My previous reference to the Mills Brothers will be lost on most younger folks, and if you don't know the group, chances are you don't know the song either. However, the title pretty much says it all.
In lieu of a lengthy apology to all who are due one, I'll let this picture speak to you:
If you're really lucky, the one's you love forgive you.
In lieu of a lengthy apology to all who are due one, I'll let this picture speak to you:
If you're really lucky, the one's you love forgive you.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Few Things I've Learned
Depressive disorders effect about 19 million people in the US every year. A couple of new words that apparently applied to me:
Dysthymia: A less severe type of depression that involves long lasting symptoms that do not seriously disable, but it can keep you from feeling good or functioning well. Many people with this form will also experience major depression episodes in their lives - which was what happened to me 2 weeks ago.
I've been so happy since my return home, now I'm concerned that I might be:
Bi-polar / Manic Depressive: the yo-yo of depression. When you're up, you're a non-stop party animal, and when you're down, depression seems like a step above where you are.
Anhedonia: lacking the ability to feel pleasure. Does that sound familiar to anyone? That was my life in a nutshell, and for those that know me, inability to feel pleasure has never been a problem for me before.
Men, in many cases, consider depression to be stigmatic, so we resort to macho BS, work 24-7, drink and/or drug excessively, and sometimes just blow our brains out. Gentlemen - get a clue! It is NOT unmanly to ask for help and there is no need to view depression as anything other than what it truly is - the same as breaking a bone. It's just an internal breakdown that can be treated and cured. If you have to take medication to make sure that Sir Richard comes to full attention upon the Queen's demand, what's the big deal about repairing the space between your ears?
Getting involved - if I learned nothing else, I've learned that there are a lot of other people out there just like me who need help, and who better to give it to them than those of us who have been through it. I started feeling better as soon as I started participating in groups and sharing with the other people who were there with me. I am not suggesting that anyone other than trained professionals should deal with the serious issues, but a shoulder to cry on and using your ears as they were intended to be used are powerful tools - never underestimate the power of a hug!
To the anonymous person who posted and indicated they were thinking of getting help but couldn't afford it I have these few words: You can't afford NOT to get help.
Many places work on a sliding scale, and if you don't have any money, go to your local county mental health clinic and ask to speak to someone. There is no shame, there is only the pain that you are suffering through needlessly. Help is available! If you need any suggestions or any assistance getting pointed in the right direction, feel free to contact me at my email address:
bblairjr@hotmail.com, and I'll be happy to find someone in your area that can help you.
If you've never heard that old Mills Brothers' tune "You Only Hurt The One You Love", see if you can find it and give a listen. That will get you prepared for the next posting.
I'm off to church and Sunday School with a lightness in my heart and in my step that has been missing for quite a while. I am still in the woods; I always will be, but at least now I've got a compass and a whole lot of people to help me find my way.
God Bless and have a wonderful Sunday!
Dysthymia: A less severe type of depression that involves long lasting symptoms that do not seriously disable, but it can keep you from feeling good or functioning well. Many people with this form will also experience major depression episodes in their lives - which was what happened to me 2 weeks ago.
I've been so happy since my return home, now I'm concerned that I might be:
Bi-polar / Manic Depressive: the yo-yo of depression. When you're up, you're a non-stop party animal, and when you're down, depression seems like a step above where you are.
Anhedonia: lacking the ability to feel pleasure. Does that sound familiar to anyone? That was my life in a nutshell, and for those that know me, inability to feel pleasure has never been a problem for me before.
Men, in many cases, consider depression to be stigmatic, so we resort to macho BS, work 24-7, drink and/or drug excessively, and sometimes just blow our brains out. Gentlemen - get a clue! It is NOT unmanly to ask for help and there is no need to view depression as anything other than what it truly is - the same as breaking a bone. It's just an internal breakdown that can be treated and cured. If you have to take medication to make sure that Sir Richard comes to full attention upon the Queen's demand, what's the big deal about repairing the space between your ears?
Getting involved - if I learned nothing else, I've learned that there are a lot of other people out there just like me who need help, and who better to give it to them than those of us who have been through it. I started feeling better as soon as I started participating in groups and sharing with the other people who were there with me. I am not suggesting that anyone other than trained professionals should deal with the serious issues, but a shoulder to cry on and using your ears as they were intended to be used are powerful tools - never underestimate the power of a hug!
To the anonymous person who posted and indicated they were thinking of getting help but couldn't afford it I have these few words: You can't afford NOT to get help.
Many places work on a sliding scale, and if you don't have any money, go to your local county mental health clinic and ask to speak to someone. There is no shame, there is only the pain that you are suffering through needlessly. Help is available! If you need any suggestions or any assistance getting pointed in the right direction, feel free to contact me at my email address:
bblairjr@hotmail.com, and I'll be happy to find someone in your area that can help you.
If you've never heard that old Mills Brothers' tune "You Only Hurt The One You Love", see if you can find it and give a listen. That will get you prepared for the next posting.
I'm off to church and Sunday School with a lightness in my heart and in my step that has been missing for quite a while. I am still in the woods; I always will be, but at least now I've got a compass and a whole lot of people to help me find my way.
God Bless and have a wonderful Sunday!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Hello Again
It was quite an interesting 7 days in Watertown. I felt akin to Gilligan but without the benefit of Mary Ann or Ginger - at least that was my initial reaction.
First, my list of thank you's:
My Family: Not every one who suffers clinical depression is lucky enough to have a family that cares enough to step in and force you in the right direction - even when you're being a total jerk. Case in point - I walked into the Lewis Country General Emergency Room, the room was packed, and I said "To hell with this - I'm not waiting around!", and out the door I went. The next thing I knew, I had the local constabulary, the Sheriff's Department, and a State Trooper asking me if we were going to have a problem getting me in the ER. Funny thing - I went right to the head of the line - no waiting. Not the normal process I'll grant you, but when your daughter dials 911 and tells the operator that Whack Daddy is on the loose, it's much more efficient then tipping the maitre d'.
My Brother: Thank you Joe for the phone calls, the love and support, and for keeping people posted on my progress. I have no better friend than you.
Samaritan Staff: Up and down the line, from psychiatrist to nurse's aide, these folks showed the professionalism one would expect, and the compassion and concern that one needs. I completed my patient survey upon release and gave them positive reviews on everything but one item, which I wrote in big block letters: YOUR BED'S SUCK! This was greeted with laughter and a shrug that suggested if you wanted better beds, try Betty Ford.
My Mates: I did not have the opportunity to speak with everyone, but I did develop friendships and a change in attitude that was attributable to my mates as much as it was to the hospital staff. It's not all that difficult to understand: You can worry a lot about the kind of shoes you have to wear until you see a man with no feet.
My Friends: All of you, my dear friends, who offered prayers, words of encouragement and an honest concern for my welfare. Especially my dear friend Danger Democrat - your email was much appreciated.
I wrote with 2 pencils constantly in need of sharpening, and I'll be sharing some of that with you over the next few days, but I'm getting ready to go on a nature hike with my 8 year old grandson right now, so this will be brief - at least in my terms.
Having settled my crisis of faith, I decided to get the bible out and in the process, I reviewed the 10 Commandments, and then I thought of them as the ACLU would have written them:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thy neighbors wife nor his manservant (how come I don't have one of those?), nor his ox or his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's unless you can find a shyster lawyer who can create a heretofore unknown, idiotic reason to take it away from them legally.
We've come a long way in the past 2000 years haven't we.
I also would like to share this photo so you can see my new hair style, my new smile, and why I'm currently filling out an application to be a bearded lady at the circus:
Something tells me I should stay with my day job.
Thank you again everyone. The majority of recovery work begins after you've left the hospital. I have a counselor, a psychiatrist, and all of you - who could ask for anything more?
First, my list of thank you's:
My Family: Not every one who suffers clinical depression is lucky enough to have a family that cares enough to step in and force you in the right direction - even when you're being a total jerk. Case in point - I walked into the Lewis Country General Emergency Room, the room was packed, and I said "To hell with this - I'm not waiting around!", and out the door I went. The next thing I knew, I had the local constabulary, the Sheriff's Department, and a State Trooper asking me if we were going to have a problem getting me in the ER. Funny thing - I went right to the head of the line - no waiting. Not the normal process I'll grant you, but when your daughter dials 911 and tells the operator that Whack Daddy is on the loose, it's much more efficient then tipping the maitre d'.
My Brother: Thank you Joe for the phone calls, the love and support, and for keeping people posted on my progress. I have no better friend than you.
Samaritan Staff: Up and down the line, from psychiatrist to nurse's aide, these folks showed the professionalism one would expect, and the compassion and concern that one needs. I completed my patient survey upon release and gave them positive reviews on everything but one item, which I wrote in big block letters: YOUR BED'S SUCK! This was greeted with laughter and a shrug that suggested if you wanted better beds, try Betty Ford.
My Mates: I did not have the opportunity to speak with everyone, but I did develop friendships and a change in attitude that was attributable to my mates as much as it was to the hospital staff. It's not all that difficult to understand: You can worry a lot about the kind of shoes you have to wear until you see a man with no feet.
My Friends: All of you, my dear friends, who offered prayers, words of encouragement and an honest concern for my welfare. Especially my dear friend Danger Democrat - your email was much appreciated.
I wrote with 2 pencils constantly in need of sharpening, and I'll be sharing some of that with you over the next few days, but I'm getting ready to go on a nature hike with my 8 year old grandson right now, so this will be brief - at least in my terms.
Having settled my crisis of faith, I decided to get the bible out and in the process, I reviewed the 10 Commandments, and then I thought of them as the ACLU would have written them:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE ACLU
Thou shalt have no God before thee in public. Churches, synagogues, mosques and Motel 6's are okay.
Thou shalt not make for thyself a carved image - unless it's Bill or Hillary.
You can swear, insult, take the Lord's name in vain - pretty much whatever you want - it's all 1st Amendment stuff dude.
Remember to keep holy the Sabbath - 10% off at Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, and don't forget the Sunday NY Times.
Honor thy father and thy mother - even atheists do that so its okay and that's the best way to stay in the will.
Thou shalt not kill unless it is an unborn baby.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Please remember the Clinton Proviso - eatin' ain't cheatin'.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor, unless they are conservatives.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thy neighbors wife nor his manservant (how come I don't have one of those?), nor his ox or his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's unless you can find a shyster lawyer who can create a heretofore unknown, idiotic reason to take it away from them legally.
We've come a long way in the past 2000 years haven't we.
I also would like to share this photo so you can see my new hair style, my new smile, and why I'm currently filling out an application to be a bearded lady at the circus:
Something tells me I should stay with my day job.
Thank you again everyone. The majority of recovery work begins after you've left the hospital. I have a counselor, a psychiatrist, and all of you - who could ask for anything more?
Sunday, November 4, 2007
What's A Whacko To Do
In the months that have followed my daughter's death, I found that all the little mechanical, or even remotely mechanical (requires the dexterity of a third grader) things that used to irritate me no longer did. Instead of escalating blood pressure, an instant recognition of how petty the mishap helped to prevent the usual verbal and/or physical response.
That was until about two weeks ago. I've mentioned my ongoing struggle with depression, and the start of this latest bout was a physical awareness that something was happening. Then the split-second anger started. After that, an overwhelming feeling of apathy.
Being a Catholic, suicide is not an option, but I did something in church this morning that I have never done before. I knelt, and I prayed that God would strike me dead as I knelt in prayer. This was no passing whim, it was a heart felt desire to escape pain. Other than church the past two Sundays, I haven't left my house, and very seldom my bedroom. If you don't make friends or get to know people, you don't get hurt.
I've lost track, but I think it's 16-17 funerals in 18 months. You probably know better than I, since I know I've mentioned it on this blog before.
I have 3 children remaining, 4 grandchildren, friends and other family, a Fortune 500 company that has supported me and co-workers who have treated me like family - yet I could care less if I ever woke up tomorrow. I even took a few extra anti-depressants this morning just to make sure I didn't feel anything in church.
I'll spare you all the details, but family, friends, and other church members stepped in today to help me. It didn't really strike me until now, but I guess it was an "intervention", albeit a spiritual one. Then I spent much of the afternoon at the Emergency Room at Lewis County General and was only released because I promised the doctor, and my family, that I would go to Watertown tomorrow and admit myself for help. Don't worry, I'm not driving!
I don't know how many others have written on the web about what depression has done to their lives, but I hope to accomplish two things:
1.) Look back at some point in the future and realize what, if anything, has changed in my life.
2.) By this and other stories I can share, if it helps even one person trying to deal with depression, then it is worthwhile.
If you've experienced it and overcome it, if you're going through it, or if you are a family member who's had to deal with it and have insights you can share for other family members, please feel free to share your stories here. You can remain anonymous if you like, and I don't censor any posts - so feel free.
Since I'm not exactly sure what will transpire over the next few days, I have no idea when I'll be able to post again, but I will bring pencil and paper and do it the old fashioned way if need be. For all I know, they may only give me crayons.
For those of you who pray, your prayers are appreciated. My agnostic and atheist friends may send their healing auras in my direction, the essence of your auras are greatly appreciated.
If you're a liberal, you know there's no hope for sanity on my part, so just remember that your mother taught you that if you can't pray for something nice, don't pray for anything at all. I can't get into the specific definition or limitations of "nice" at this point, because I still don't know what "is", "is".
Who says you can't be crazy and have fun at the same time? Now where did I place that cuckoo's nest?
That was until about two weeks ago. I've mentioned my ongoing struggle with depression, and the start of this latest bout was a physical awareness that something was happening. Then the split-second anger started. After that, an overwhelming feeling of apathy.
Being a Catholic, suicide is not an option, but I did something in church this morning that I have never done before. I knelt, and I prayed that God would strike me dead as I knelt in prayer. This was no passing whim, it was a heart felt desire to escape pain. Other than church the past two Sundays, I haven't left my house, and very seldom my bedroom. If you don't make friends or get to know people, you don't get hurt.
I've lost track, but I think it's 16-17 funerals in 18 months. You probably know better than I, since I know I've mentioned it on this blog before.
I have 3 children remaining, 4 grandchildren, friends and other family, a Fortune 500 company that has supported me and co-workers who have treated me like family - yet I could care less if I ever woke up tomorrow. I even took a few extra anti-depressants this morning just to make sure I didn't feel anything in church.
I'll spare you all the details, but family, friends, and other church members stepped in today to help me. It didn't really strike me until now, but I guess it was an "intervention", albeit a spiritual one. Then I spent much of the afternoon at the Emergency Room at Lewis County General and was only released because I promised the doctor, and my family, that I would go to Watertown tomorrow and admit myself for help. Don't worry, I'm not driving!
I don't know how many others have written on the web about what depression has done to their lives, but I hope to accomplish two things:
1.) Look back at some point in the future and realize what, if anything, has changed in my life.
2.) By this and other stories I can share, if it helps even one person trying to deal with depression, then it is worthwhile.
If you've experienced it and overcome it, if you're going through it, or if you are a family member who's had to deal with it and have insights you can share for other family members, please feel free to share your stories here. You can remain anonymous if you like, and I don't censor any posts - so feel free.
Since I'm not exactly sure what will transpire over the next few days, I have no idea when I'll be able to post again, but I will bring pencil and paper and do it the old fashioned way if need be. For all I know, they may only give me crayons.
For those of you who pray, your prayers are appreciated. My agnostic and atheist friends may send their healing auras in my direction, the essence of your auras are greatly appreciated.
If you're a liberal, you know there's no hope for sanity on my part, so just remember that your mother taught you that if you can't pray for something nice, don't pray for anything at all. I can't get into the specific definition or limitations of "nice" at this point, because I still don't know what "is", "is".
Who says you can't be crazy and have fun at the same time? Now where did I place that cuckoo's nest?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Danger Democrat
My friends, if you've never had the opportunity to visit the Northern New York blog "Danger Democrat", may I suggest that today would be the perfect day to do so:
If the name of the blog didn't give it away, I suppose the web address might give you a hint or two as to Mr. Ford's political bent, but don't let that dissuade you from venturing over. Regardless of what label we hang on someone, they're still human beings first, and they're Americans second - that should be sufficient.
I will admit that we're still looking for more issues we can agree upon, but even if we never looked at another issue with a similar perspective, I respect and admire his writing and his sense of fair play.
I also get a kick out of his bullshit too.
Thus, this abbreviated blog to direct you to Danger Democrat and his entry "You Gotta Understand BS", then just click on his link for one of the funniest pieces of political satire you'll ever see or hear.
And I'm guessing that Ted and I have just found another facet of political life in America that we wholeheartedly agree upon.
Since it is Halloween, let me leave you with my selection from the Google search "Hillary as a witch":
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Ahnold in Callyfornya
It's difficult to do an accent using the written word, so in case you're having difficulty with my Viennese accent, the title should read "Arnold in California". I was never a fan of his during his bodybuilding days because I've never had any interest in body building, other than what could be accomplished with a six pack and a grill. As far as his movies are concerned, he was a great bodybuilder.
When it comes to being Governor of California, I am very impressed - most of all by the fact that he doesn't act like a politician. His handling of Claire Shipman, the ABC reporter, the other day was absolutely masterful. Anytime you can take a question posed to create controversy where their was none, and turn things around on the smarmy little twit that was asking the question, you've done a wonderful job. That was nothing he could have prepared for ahead of time, he just reacted instinctively.
The obvious comparison here is with Governor Kathleen Blanco, the State of Louisiana, and Hurricane Katrina. Suffice it to say that Ms. Blanco's decision not to run for Governor again was probably a wise one, as you could have counted the votes she would have gotten on two hands and a foot. Her handling of Hurricane Katrina was dismal at best, and in no way should be construed as anything other than someone verifying the Peter Principle. She just happened to be a Democrat, and she just happened to be totally inept. Although there are times when the words Democrat and inept are synonyms, that is not always the case. I think Mayor Ray Nagin went well beyond inept to downright ignorant. When you have a lot of solid sewage mixed with water, viola = Chocolate City.
When you look at the way the people of California have reacted to the wild fires, you might wonder if California and Louisiana are part of the same country. The racists will automatically presume that skin color made all the difference, politicians just point at each other, and the news media is busy looking for sensational sob stories - so what is the real reason for the great difference in reaction to disaster?
Leadership and self-reliance. In California you had leadership, in Louisiana you had none. In California you had people familiar with the dangers of wild fires and they were prepared to act. In Louisiana you had people familiar with the dangers of a hurricane, and they were prepared to sit on their asses until the government told them what to do. Therein lies the danger of socialism - it is addictive in nature and promotes reliance on the state, not on one's self. Maybe it's just me, but if there's a major hurricane coming and I don't have a car, I think I could figure out a way to get out of Dodge.
Think of it this way: You're a parent, your 17 year old daughter has the car and has a flat tire. She calls, she's crying; doesn't know what to do and needs you to come and change the tire for her - that's Louisiana. On the other hand, you never get the phone call because you've taught your daughter ahead of time how to handle the situation and she changed the tire herself - that's Callyfornya.
I have never had a lot of good things to say about California, especially in light of Sodom on the Sea (San Francisco), but in this case, the people of California should be very proud of themselves, their Governor, and all of the first-responders who have done such a great job.
Way to go Callyfornya!
When it comes to being Governor of California, I am very impressed - most of all by the fact that he doesn't act like a politician. His handling of Claire Shipman, the ABC reporter, the other day was absolutely masterful. Anytime you can take a question posed to create controversy where their was none, and turn things around on the smarmy little twit that was asking the question, you've done a wonderful job. That was nothing he could have prepared for ahead of time, he just reacted instinctively.
The obvious comparison here is with Governor Kathleen Blanco, the State of Louisiana, and Hurricane Katrina. Suffice it to say that Ms. Blanco's decision not to run for Governor again was probably a wise one, as you could have counted the votes she would have gotten on two hands and a foot. Her handling of Hurricane Katrina was dismal at best, and in no way should be construed as anything other than someone verifying the Peter Principle. She just happened to be a Democrat, and she just happened to be totally inept. Although there are times when the words Democrat and inept are synonyms, that is not always the case. I think Mayor Ray Nagin went well beyond inept to downright ignorant. When you have a lot of solid sewage mixed with water, viola = Chocolate City.
When you look at the way the people of California have reacted to the wild fires, you might wonder if California and Louisiana are part of the same country. The racists will automatically presume that skin color made all the difference, politicians just point at each other, and the news media is busy looking for sensational sob stories - so what is the real reason for the great difference in reaction to disaster?
Leadership and self-reliance. In California you had leadership, in Louisiana you had none. In California you had people familiar with the dangers of wild fires and they were prepared to act. In Louisiana you had people familiar with the dangers of a hurricane, and they were prepared to sit on their asses until the government told them what to do. Therein lies the danger of socialism - it is addictive in nature and promotes reliance on the state, not on one's self. Maybe it's just me, but if there's a major hurricane coming and I don't have a car, I think I could figure out a way to get out of Dodge.
Think of it this way: You're a parent, your 17 year old daughter has the car and has a flat tire. She calls, she's crying; doesn't know what to do and needs you to come and change the tire for her - that's Louisiana. On the other hand, you never get the phone call because you've taught your daughter ahead of time how to handle the situation and she changed the tire herself - that's Callyfornya.
I have never had a lot of good things to say about California, especially in light of Sodom on the Sea (San Francisco), but in this case, the people of California should be very proud of themselves, their Governor, and all of the first-responders who have done such a great job.
Way to go Callyfornya!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I Don't Speak Mandarin, But I Like Oranges
Around the house I'm commonly referred to as "Hop Sing". Prior to calling me a racist, in addition to a redneck, let us recall the glory days of TV, and a show called "Bonanza".
The premise: Ben Cartwright had 3 sons, they were "brothas from different mothas" - sound interesting? It gets better - the mothers are all dead. For lack of the National Enquirer back then, Ben was able to stick to the natural causes story.
Anyway, these three young, virile men all live together at their big old ranch house called "The Ponderosa". (You didn't think the steak house just came up with that name did you?) Alone that is, but for their loyal manservant, Hop Sing.
Now I don't know what Hop-a-long did other than cooking and laundry, but I can assure you that I have earned that moniker solely for my ability to shrink wool sweaters without batting an eye. I have gotten better at not doing that anymore, but if I forget to bring my reading glasses with me, accidents do happen.
While driving back from Syracuse today, I thought that perhaps someday I would write a book called "Things I Learned While Doing The Laundry". Sounds pretty idiotic at first glance, but give it a minute.
I started doing the laundry a few years ago because my job allows me to have my office in my home. Since my wife worked as an RN, and we were raising three children, it seemed like the right thing to do. When my mother passed away in 1998, it became more than just a chore around the house, because it made me think of her.
Imagine yourself in 1959, you have four kids born in '51, '53, '54, '55 (the three in succession were all born in April - nothing like having a schedule and sticking to it). You're not wealthy and the washing machine has a wringer attached to the back of it. The actual electric washer and dryer were still a few years away. In addition to everything else you have to do raising these four hellions, you have to do all of their laundry. As I look back on it now, and as I look at pictures of how she dressed my brother and I alike, and my sisters alike, suddenly I'm not feeling all that much sympathy for the laundry she had to do.
I guess if I ever do write that book, or just an essay about it, the first thing I'll note is that I learned is this: I owe a lot to my mother. She would have been 78 this past Sunday, and though the years have slipped away, her influence on me lives on, and will continue to do so through future generations.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
How Did Americanization Become Wrong?
About five years ago I was asked by my boss to be the first person from out department to attend a "Multi-Cultural Sensitivity Training" session being offered by some firm out of Washington D.C. The very first thing they did in this class was put up a list on the board and ask which word was appropriate. For example, should you call someone black or colored, Asian or oriental, white or Caucasian - you get the idea. So I raised my hand and asked what was wrong with just calling them "Americans"? For the next eight hours, I'm sure I irritated the hell out of them by contradicting everyone of their idiotic, touchy-feely ideas, to the point that the class was never offered again anywhere in the company. I'd love to take credit for it, but it was just such a lame-brained idea to begin with it probably expired from natural causes.
I received an email from a dear friend the other day, sporting a picture of Teddy Roosevelt and attributing a quote to him regarding immigration and Americanization. I found the words interesting enough to want to do some research to verify their accuracy, and I'm glad a did. The email has been circulating since 2005, and the factual error regards the date of the statement, not the context. I also located quotes from Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat not exactly in tune with Roosevelt's politics, and William Brandeis, a Supreme Court justice, in a related article by Dr. John Fonte, a Senior Fellow at the Hudson Institute.
Here are the quotes from Roosevelt, Wilson and Brandeis respectively:
ROOSEVELT: "It is not only necessary to Americanize the immigrants of foreign birth who settle among us, but it is even more necessary for those among us who are by birth and descent already Americans not to throw away our birthright, and with incredible and contemptible folly, wander back to bow down before the alien gods whom our forefathers forsook.
'In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile.....We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one soul (sic) loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.''' (ellipses in the original).
WILSON: "I certainly would not be one even to suggest that a man cease to love the home of his birth and the nation of his origin--these things are very sacred and ought not to be put out of our hearts--but it is one thing to love the place where you were born and it is another to dedicate yourself to the place to which you go. You cannot dedicate yourself to America unless you become in every respect and with every purpose of your will thoroughly Americans. You cannot become thoroughly Americans if you think of yourselves in groups. A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American, and the man who goes among you to trade upon your nationality is no worthy son to live under the Stars and Stripes."
BRANDEIS: "What is Americanization? It manifests itself, in a superficial way, when the immigrant adopts the clothes, the manners, and the customs generally prevailing here. Far more important is the manifestation presented when he substitutes for his mother tongue the English language as the common medium of speech. But the adoption of our language, manners, and customs is only a small part of the process. To become Americanized the change wrought must be fundamental. However great his outward conformity, the immigrant is not Americanized unless his interests and affections have become deeply rooted here. And we properly demand of the immigrant even more than this,--he must be brought into complete harmony with our ideals and aspirations and cooperate with us for their attainment. Only when this has been done will he possess the national consciousness of an American."
So when did the "Melting Pot" become contaminated with Mad PC-Cow disease? Why do I have press 1 for English?
If you watched "Islam vs. Islamists" on Fox News last night as I did, you know full well what is happening, not only in our country, but in Europe and other parts of the world as well. Those few Muslims who wish to assimilate and become part of the culture they live in are scared to death to raise their voices. They have been beaten, threatened, and their families live in constant fear. I point this out not in an effort to create fear, only to illustrate one of the many results of embracing the faux-union of multiculturalism.
If you were born here, why are you Italian-American, Irish-American, African-American, etc. -
I received an email from a dear friend the other day, sporting a picture of Teddy Roosevelt and attributing a quote to him regarding immigration and Americanization. I found the words interesting enough to want to do some research to verify their accuracy, and I'm glad a did. The email has been circulating since 2005, and the factual error regards the date of the statement, not the context. I also located quotes from Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat not exactly in tune with Roosevelt's politics, and William Brandeis, a Supreme Court justice, in a related article by Dr. John Fonte, a Senior Fellow at the Hudson Institute.
Here are the quotes from Roosevelt, Wilson and Brandeis respectively:
ROOSEVELT: "It is not only necessary to Americanize the immigrants of foreign birth who settle among us, but it is even more necessary for those among us who are by birth and descent already Americans not to throw away our birthright, and with incredible and contemptible folly, wander back to bow down before the alien gods whom our forefathers forsook.
'In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile.....We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one soul (sic) loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.''' (ellipses in the original).
WILSON: "I certainly would not be one even to suggest that a man cease to love the home of his birth and the nation of his origin--these things are very sacred and ought not to be put out of our hearts--but it is one thing to love the place where you were born and it is another to dedicate yourself to the place to which you go. You cannot dedicate yourself to America unless you become in every respect and with every purpose of your will thoroughly Americans. You cannot become thoroughly Americans if you think of yourselves in groups. A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American, and the man who goes among you to trade upon your nationality is no worthy son to live under the Stars and Stripes."
BRANDEIS: "What is Americanization? It manifests itself, in a superficial way, when the immigrant adopts the clothes, the manners, and the customs generally prevailing here. Far more important is the manifestation presented when he substitutes for his mother tongue the English language as the common medium of speech. But the adoption of our language, manners, and customs is only a small part of the process. To become Americanized the change wrought must be fundamental. However great his outward conformity, the immigrant is not Americanized unless his interests and affections have become deeply rooted here. And we properly demand of the immigrant even more than this,--he must be brought into complete harmony with our ideals and aspirations and cooperate with us for their attainment. Only when this has been done will he possess the national consciousness of an American."
So when did the "Melting Pot" become contaminated with Mad PC-Cow disease? Why do I have press 1 for English?
If you watched "Islam vs. Islamists" on Fox News last night as I did, you know full well what is happening, not only in our country, but in Europe and other parts of the world as well. Those few Muslims who wish to assimilate and become part of the culture they live in are scared to death to raise their voices. They have been beaten, threatened, and their families live in constant fear. I point this out not in an effort to create fear, only to illustrate one of the many results of embracing the faux-union of multiculturalism.
If you were born here, why are you Italian-American, Irish-American, African-American, etc. -
YOU'RE AN AMERICAN
Call me old-fashioned, but the sooner we start promoting the concept of Americanization again, the better off we'll be. If you'd like to be multi-cultural, go to Europe and see how Muslim efforts to create a Sharia-ruled caliphate within the structure of the European Union are coming.
If the pot that we've been stirring the best brew the world has ever known in should crack and spring a leak, I don't see any Teddy Roosevelt's on the horizon, with either a new pot or the means to fixed the old one. All I see are separate interest groups, unions, a biased media, and a rudderless ship of state incapable of building even the simplest of fences.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Do They Never Learn?
There are times when all the stars align just perfectly, and the vagaries of life come together to give just desserts to those without a Twinkie. This week we have been provided with two examples, one that warmed my heart, and another that chilled it.
A Rush To Judgement
Up to this point I have refrained, other than a brief mention in passing, from referring to the letter that Dirty Harry Reid and the rest of the senatorial lemmings sent to Clear Channels, accusing Rush Limbaugh of denigrating "phony soldiers". As I write this on Friday morning, the bid for the letter on Ebay is now over $2 million - and Rush has pledged to match whatever amount is raised. The monies will go to fund the education of children who's parents have died in the line of duty, both military and police.
The reason I find this heartwarming: Rush took the thrown lemons, made lemonade, he's selling the lemonade, giving the proceeds to fund children's education, and the the lemon-throwers are left with a puckered look on their faces. I guess you could call the letter signers a bunch of dumb puckers.
Rush has challenged the puckered Democratic demogogues to match him, but don't expect any of them to step up to the plate. Their efforts to distance themselves from the "General Betrayus" ad were so pitiful, I almost felt sorry for them - almost. At least in this instance, I could understand the reason behind the action, even if it was pitifully transparent.
The "Randi Rhodes Right Wing Conspiracy"
This little item serves to further illustrate why Air Amerika is the most dismal radio endeavor ever attempted. Randi Rhodes, on air "talent" for Air Amerika, tripped and fell in NYC - perhaps she's as spastic physically as she is mentally, who knows. Before any of the facts were in, before anyone bothered to check to see exactly what happened, the Tweedle-Dum to her Tweedle-Dee, Jon Elliott, announced on air that she had been attacked be right-wing thugs.
Although he did apologize on air yesterday for jumping to conclusions, the damage was already done. If you'd like to see what I mean by damage, just Google the story and go to the "Village Voice" website. The reason I suggest you go there is not the story itself, but the postings that accompany the story. The "damage" is there to see for anyone who can read. The anger, hatred and vitriol are so disconcerting that I found I could only read a sampling before reaching my limit.
Once again we're being treated to the lunacy that partisanship generates. Having been an all too willing participant, and finding it almost impossible not backslide every now and then, I have no idea how we're going to get this country back together, but I can assure you that jumping to conclusions is not the way to do it.
When I see Putin and Ahmadinejad buddying up to each other, or when I see Benizir Bhutto almost assassinated in Pakistan by AQ/Taliban terrorists, I have all I need to fuel my paranoia - I don't need any help from the partisan wingnuts on either side of the aisle.
PS - I DON'T LOVE YOU
I'm adding this because I just saw a billboard on "Fox on Friends" that really warmed my heart. It seems a gentleman in Alabama, who just happens to own a billboard, feels much the same way as I do about Hugo Chavez, aka Bentio Jr. - he doesn't love him. His billboard has a picture of Hugo holding up a Citgo sign, and the caption reads: DON'T BUY GAS FROM THIS ASS!
I'm adding this because I just saw a billboard on "Fox on Friends" that really warmed my heart. It seems a gentleman in Alabama, who just happens to own a billboard, feels much the same way as I do about Hugo Chavez, aka Bentio Jr. - he doesn't love him. His billboard has a picture of Hugo holding up a Citgo sign, and the caption reads: DON'T BUY GAS FROM THIS ASS!
I LOVE IT!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Gingerich vs. Pelosi
For those of you who are not students of WWII history, there was an incident that has become known as the Katyn Forest Massacre. Here's a website where you can read some detail about the actions of the Soviet Union:
http://www.allempires.com/article/index.php?q=The_Katyn_Forest_Massacre_Remembered
I must admit to not being a student of the history of the Armenian massacre, so I did some surfing and found this website that provides similar information to the one above:
http://www.armenian-genocide.org/genocide.html
The only real difference between the two is year (years in the case of the Armenians) in which the atrocities were committed.
Now let's forward to the year 1995, when Newt became Speaker of the House. In July of 1995, a debate ensued regarding the Katyn Forest Massacre, and excerpts of the debate were published in the Baltic Times:
http://www.latvia.no/index.php?articleid=199&expand=
Now Newt was new, Nancy is new, but you know who I like best between the two. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself with the idiotic rhyme.)
Don't get me wrong, condemning the actions of the Ottoman Empire would be entirely relevant - if only it still existed today. The modern day Turks, our allies if you disregard Iraqi Freedom, did not pull any triggers, but neither have they sufficiently beaten their brows or even acknowledged it happened to the satisfaction of the rest of the world.
It is entirely noble of Squeaker of the House Pelosi to want to condemn the actions that took place about 100 years ago, but as with many things in life, timing is everything.
If I were a Democrat, I would be desperately hoping that Ms. Pelosi's learning curve would soon start excellerating at a rate significantly faster then her poll numbers regarding her performance are dropping.
Newt had the timing right, because of the collapse of the Soviet Union. If we were to have a similar discussion regarding Katyn now, with the awakening of Soviet nationalism under Putin, it would be the same thing as condemning the Turks for slaughtering Armenians. It would be a measure that everyone could feel good and sanctimonious about, but it would accomplish nothing positive.
Therein lies Squeaker Pelosi's problem - lack of accomplishment, before and after assuming her position. I have come to expect nothing less from San Francisco then the oddest mankind has to offer, so Nancy fits right in.
With all of the potential threats from Russia, Iran, Venezuela, and Lord help us if we forget the Chinese, I certainly hope, even as a Republican, that Speaker Pelosi can grow into her job.
I do not, however, plan to bet the farm on it.
http://www.allempires.com/article/index.php?q=The_Katyn_Forest_Massacre_Remembered
I must admit to not being a student of the history of the Armenian massacre, so I did some surfing and found this website that provides similar information to the one above:
http://www.armenian-genocide.org/genocide.html
The only real difference between the two is year (years in the case of the Armenians) in which the atrocities were committed.
Now let's forward to the year 1995, when Newt became Speaker of the House. In July of 1995, a debate ensued regarding the Katyn Forest Massacre, and excerpts of the debate were published in the Baltic Times:
http://www.latvia.no/index.php?articleid=199&expand=
Now Newt was new, Nancy is new, but you know who I like best between the two. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself with the idiotic rhyme.)
Don't get me wrong, condemning the actions of the Ottoman Empire would be entirely relevant - if only it still existed today. The modern day Turks, our allies if you disregard Iraqi Freedom, did not pull any triggers, but neither have they sufficiently beaten their brows or even acknowledged it happened to the satisfaction of the rest of the world.
It is entirely noble of Squeaker of the House Pelosi to want to condemn the actions that took place about 100 years ago, but as with many things in life, timing is everything.
If I were a Democrat, I would be desperately hoping that Ms. Pelosi's learning curve would soon start excellerating at a rate significantly faster then her poll numbers regarding her performance are dropping.
Newt had the timing right, because of the collapse of the Soviet Union. If we were to have a similar discussion regarding Katyn now, with the awakening of Soviet nationalism under Putin, it would be the same thing as condemning the Turks for slaughtering Armenians. It would be a measure that everyone could feel good and sanctimonious about, but it would accomplish nothing positive.
Therein lies Squeaker Pelosi's problem - lack of accomplishment, before and after assuming her position. I have come to expect nothing less from San Francisco then the oddest mankind has to offer, so Nancy fits right in.
With all of the potential threats from Russia, Iran, Venezuela, and Lord help us if we forget the Chinese, I certainly hope, even as a Republican, that Speaker Pelosi can grow into her job.
I do not, however, plan to bet the farm on it.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Odds & Ends
LET THE ATHEIST BE HEARD
Air Amerika, the rented mule of modern radio, has announced the launching this weekend of "Freethought Radio", a one hour talk show dedicated to atheists and agnostics. The personality that's helping to launch this undertaking is none other than Ron Reagan, son of our former President. He apparently has been an atheist from an early age and would argue with his parents regarding the existence of God. It would likely be painful to analyze the psychology of the relationship between father and son here, but it certainly gives one pause.
The obvious hope is that he will attract some listeners in the 25 cities where Air Amerika is carried. I picked it up in Syracuse one day while scanning the dial, and had a hard time staying on the road because I was laughing so hard. It wasn't that they were funny, just banal. Listen for more than 2 minutes and you'll know why they have had no success - they're just not entertaining. If you can't find it on your radio dial, just think of Harry Reid suggesting that Rush Limbaugh doesn't support the troops, and you've got Air Amerika.
TOLERANCE
Regardless of your choice of religion, or lack there of, tolerance is the key.
If you'd like to see an example of intolerance, and downright sacrilege if you're Catholic, please go to this site:
http://www.foxnews.com/oreilly/index.html
Click on Watch Talking Points and watch the video "An Unholy Insult In San Francisco". I know there are liberals who would rather wash Dick Cheney's car than watch anything on Fox, so if you're one of "them", live a little - expand your horizons - let a little light shine in and watch it if only to see how the militant, atheist homosexuals dressed-up when they made a mockery of the sacrament of communion. They normally parade around San Frangizco dressed up as nuns, and they certainly had unusual garb on for this little stunt.
From refusing to allow a great battleship from WW II to dock in their port as a museum, to refusing to let the Marines film a commercial on their city streets, to performing illegal homatrimony, the powers-that-be in this Sodom-on-the-Sea have shown us time and time again what the future of America will look like once the secular progressives take over.
Their idea of tolerance is seeing things their way and shutting up. I'm willing to be tolerant, as long as you don't piss on my shoes and tell me it's rain.
THE YANKEES
I don't know what will happen to Joe Torre, but the man will always be a winner in my book. The Yankee bats feel silent, their pitching woes evident, and there was a VAST LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY TO DEFEAT THE YANKEES AND I HAVE PROOF!
I want a full investigation of Senators Kerry & Kennedy, and I want to know how they got those hats on the bugs!Dammit Gumby, I am not paranoid!
THANK YOU
... for coming back and checking out my blog again. I know I've been absent for a while, and I've received kind words, thoughts and prayers from many of you. This old curmudgeon thanks you sincerely and wishes the blessings of God, the one I believe in, to all of you. Word has it that He thinks rather highly of you as well.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I Had A Friend
I first met Bobby during football practice in the summer of 1965. I was a skinny little freshman trying football for the first time in my life, and Bobby was a junior, trying out for quarterback on the JV team. Though I didn't know it then, this was only the first time I was to watch Bobby let one of his grand ideas quickly fall by the wayside when something else caught his fancy. He didn't last the week at football practice.
My next introduction to Bobb was when I was invited to join a trio of young "gentlemen" from Castorland in a band. I had been playing guitar for a couple of years by that time and was invited to try out as a bass player. I made the band, and did my first couple of jobs playing bass on a six string guitar with the bass tone turned all the way up. When I think about that, I still shudder.
One thing that never made me shudder though was Bobby's voice. He had the purest, cleanest tenor you ever laid ears on. When he sang "Cara Mia", a song by Jay and the Americans, it was a delight to listen to. Harmonies came easy to him; everything about his voice just seemed effortless, and for the rest of his life, if you needed someone to hit those high notes - Bobb was your man. His guitar work never progressed much beyond what he knew by 1975, but his showmanship did.
I knew Bobb's father because I used to spend an inordinate amount of time in Castorland at his parents house. His mother was, and still is, a wonderful woman, and the only one who gave Bobby the love that he wanted from both parents. A dour, almost speechless man, I have no idea how he grew into the emotionless man I saw, but I always felt so lucky knowing I had my Dad.
On a lovely Sunday afternoon this past September, I played with Bobby for the last time at a party up at Brantingham Lake. We had even gotten together the Friday prior to go over a few songs and select stuff from "The Book", that we would play on Sunday. As I prepared to leave that Sunday, I was asked to play longer, but having lost all desire to ever play again, I said no, but Bobby offered to stay. He was heading for Florida towards the end of September and said he could use the gas money. I let him use some of my equipment, which he dropped off on my front porch when I wasn't home later that week.
Driving home from Albany yesterday, I suddenly thought about Bobby and wondered if he'd found a laptop or PC to log onto yet. He had setup his new email address as "flbobb" and told me to try it after he'd been down there a couple of weeks.
On business in Malone today, I got a call just before noon and learned that Bobby had died yesterday, October 3, 2007. I have no details, nor do they matter one whit.
Another voice, a beautiful voice of my youth, is silent. A friend of 42 years, the only older brother I ever knew, has left.
I have recordings of us together, and I intend to listen to them - I just don't know when yet.
I love you Bobby.
My next introduction to Bobb was when I was invited to join a trio of young "gentlemen" from Castorland in a band. I had been playing guitar for a couple of years by that time and was invited to try out as a bass player. I made the band, and did my first couple of jobs playing bass on a six string guitar with the bass tone turned all the way up. When I think about that, I still shudder.
One thing that never made me shudder though was Bobby's voice. He had the purest, cleanest tenor you ever laid ears on. When he sang "Cara Mia", a song by Jay and the Americans, it was a delight to listen to. Harmonies came easy to him; everything about his voice just seemed effortless, and for the rest of his life, if you needed someone to hit those high notes - Bobb was your man. His guitar work never progressed much beyond what he knew by 1975, but his showmanship did.
I knew Bobb's father because I used to spend an inordinate amount of time in Castorland at his parents house. His mother was, and still is, a wonderful woman, and the only one who gave Bobby the love that he wanted from both parents. A dour, almost speechless man, I have no idea how he grew into the emotionless man I saw, but I always felt so lucky knowing I had my Dad.
On a lovely Sunday afternoon this past September, I played with Bobby for the last time at a party up at Brantingham Lake. We had even gotten together the Friday prior to go over a few songs and select stuff from "The Book", that we would play on Sunday. As I prepared to leave that Sunday, I was asked to play longer, but having lost all desire to ever play again, I said no, but Bobby offered to stay. He was heading for Florida towards the end of September and said he could use the gas money. I let him use some of my equipment, which he dropped off on my front porch when I wasn't home later that week.
Driving home from Albany yesterday, I suddenly thought about Bobby and wondered if he'd found a laptop or PC to log onto yet. He had setup his new email address as "flbobb" and told me to try it after he'd been down there a couple of weeks.
On business in Malone today, I got a call just before noon and learned that Bobby had died yesterday, October 3, 2007. I have no details, nor do they matter one whit.
Another voice, a beautiful voice of my youth, is silent. A friend of 42 years, the only older brother I ever knew, has left.
I have recordings of us together, and I intend to listen to them - I just don't know when yet.
I love you Bobby.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Stuff
If you visit this website often, you've come to understand that you'll never know for sure just what you're opening yourself up to. The hoi poloi would call it eclectic, but I prefer to think of it just plain stuff:
BATTLE OF THE SEXES
From my friend in India, Sashi Shetty, come these responses for women to use when the male of the species is involved in instinctual behavior. For you gentlemen who feel I've crossed the line and switched sides - lighten up - you'll get some eventually:
He: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
She: Yes - that's why I don't go there anymore.
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes - and so will this one be if you sit down.
He: So, what do you do for a living?
She: I'm a female impersonator.
He: Hey baby, what's your sign?
She: Do not enter!
He: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
She: Nah - just plain bad luck.
He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you!
He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?
He: I'm a photographer and I've been looking for a face like yours!
She: I'm a plastic surgeon and I've been looking for a face like yours!
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing! I can't laugh and talk at the same time.
There were more retorts than that, but come to think of it, they really don't need all that much help do they?
SO I'M SPASTIC - BIG DEAL
I joined an on-line group run by a man named Noor, because a post of his, with a quote from the Q'ran, came through in another of my groups. Much of the material that comes through is in Arabic, but there's enough in English to keep it interesting. I'm not sure where the guy that posted this is from, but I believe he's from Indonesia somewhere:
This is so funny it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!
1.) While sitting down, raise your right foot up off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2.) Now, while doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction!
I told you so . . . and there is nothing you can do about it.
While not an ardent proponent of the old saw "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", in this particular circumstance I did not bother trying the entire routine more than 5 times. I'm willing to take his word that I can't outsmart my foot, and I don't care to sit around and provide the empirical data that confirms I'm spastic - just like the rest of mankind.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OLD
For the most part, you won't find me saying that too often, other than the fact that I prefer aging to a dirt nap. There are some things that will change with aging; some of the changes are actually a revival of actions normally associated with the very young. Translation: You can get away with stuff because they think you're old and nutty. Herewith, a slightly adult joke that illustrates this point:
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and as he approached the desk, the receptionist said:
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"
"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
... and eventually, you get to wear diapers again - who said that God doesn't have a sense of humor?
BATTLE OF THE SEXES
From my friend in India, Sashi Shetty, come these responses for women to use when the male of the species is involved in instinctual behavior. For you gentlemen who feel I've crossed the line and switched sides - lighten up - you'll get some eventually:
He: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
She: Yes - that's why I don't go there anymore.
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes - and so will this one be if you sit down.
He: So, what do you do for a living?
She: I'm a female impersonator.
He: Hey baby, what's your sign?
She: Do not enter!
He: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
She: Nah - just plain bad luck.
He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you!
He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?
He: I'm a photographer and I've been looking for a face like yours!
She: I'm a plastic surgeon and I've been looking for a face like yours!
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing! I can't laugh and talk at the same time.
There were more retorts than that, but come to think of it, they really don't need all that much help do they?
SO I'M SPASTIC - BIG DEAL
I joined an on-line group run by a man named Noor, because a post of his, with a quote from the Q'ran, came through in another of my groups. Much of the material that comes through is in Arabic, but there's enough in English to keep it interesting. I'm not sure where the guy that posted this is from, but I believe he's from Indonesia somewhere:
This is so funny it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!
1.) While sitting down, raise your right foot up off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2.) Now, while doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction!
I told you so . . . and there is nothing you can do about it.
While not an ardent proponent of the old saw "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", in this particular circumstance I did not bother trying the entire routine more than 5 times. I'm willing to take his word that I can't outsmart my foot, and I don't care to sit around and provide the empirical data that confirms I'm spastic - just like the rest of mankind.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OLD
For the most part, you won't find me saying that too often, other than the fact that I prefer aging to a dirt nap. There are some things that will change with aging; some of the changes are actually a revival of actions normally associated with the very young. Translation: You can get away with stuff because they think you're old and nutty. Herewith, a slightly adult joke that illustrates this point:
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and as he approached the desk, the receptionist said:
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"
"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
... and eventually, you get to wear diapers again - who said that God doesn't have a sense of humor?
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