If you visit this website often, you've come to understand that you'll never know for sure just what you're opening yourself up to. The hoi poloi would call it eclectic, but I prefer to think of it just plain stuff:
BATTLE OF THE SEXES
From my friend in India, Sashi Shetty, come these responses for women to use when the male of the species is involved in instinctual behavior. For you gentlemen who feel I've crossed the line and switched sides - lighten up - you'll get some eventually:
He: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
She: Yes - that's why I don't go there anymore.
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes - and so will this one be if you sit down.
He: So, what do you do for a living?
She: I'm a female impersonator.
He: Hey baby, what's your sign?
She: Do not enter!
He: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
She: Nah - just plain bad luck.
He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you!
He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?
He: I'm a photographer and I've been looking for a face like yours!
She: I'm a plastic surgeon and I've been looking for a face like yours!
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing! I can't laugh and talk at the same time.
There were more retorts than that, but come to think of it, they really don't need all that much help do they?
SO I'M SPASTIC - BIG DEAL
I joined an on-line group run by a man named Noor, because a post of his, with a quote from the Q'ran, came through in another of my groups. Much of the material that comes through is in Arabic, but there's enough in English to keep it interesting. I'm not sure where the guy that posted this is from, but I believe he's from Indonesia somewhere:
This is so funny it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!
1.) While sitting down, raise your right foot up off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2.) Now, while doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction!
I told you so . . . and there is nothing you can do about it.
While not an ardent proponent of the old saw "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", in this particular circumstance I did not bother trying the entire routine more than 5 times. I'm willing to take his word that I can't outsmart my foot, and I don't care to sit around and provide the empirical data that confirms I'm spastic - just like the rest of mankind.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OLD
For the most part, you won't find me saying that too often, other than the fact that I prefer aging to a dirt nap. There are some things that will change with aging; some of the changes are actually a revival of actions normally associated with the very young. Translation: You can get away with stuff because they think you're old and nutty. Herewith, a slightly adult joke that illustrates this point:
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and as he approached the desk, the receptionist said:
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"
"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
... and eventually, you get to wear diapers again - who said that God doesn't have a sense of humor?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Has A New Age Really Dawned?
"The whole world is now watching Burma, and its illegitimate and repressive regime should know that the whole world is going to hold it to account," he said. "The age of impunity in neglecting and overriding human rights is over."
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown
With that eloquent statement, Britain's Prime Minister has summed up the legacy of Iraq. Dictators, military juntas, madmen posing as populists (yes, I mean you Hugh Chavez), should all be very concerned about their positions. When western governments join together and make it perfectly clear that the ruling persons will be held accountable for their actions, lives are saved and in the end, the people will enjoy freedom.
The news services are reporting one death yesterday during the massive protests in Burma, but early reports today indicate that things are calm. I believe that the militarists are showing restraint for only one reason - fear. They've seen what happened to Saddam and they are quite afraid that the U.S., Great Britain, or some combination of states that have a pair, will come in, remove them from power, try them and hang them - which is probably not all that bad an idea.
That's one aspect of the War in Iraq that most of our liberal friends will not take the time to consider, because it gives solid support to the President's decision to remove Saddam. In my opinion, this also provides ample reason not to precipitously pull out of Iraq, not only for the maelstrom we'd be unleashing there, but also the message it would send to friends and foes alike about the trustworthiness of the United States. What friend could ever trust us to have their backs if we turn tail and act like the cowards the liberals would prefer us to act like?
If you feel like it, take a look at my previous blog on the Democrat candidates. You'll note that I predicted that if Hillary is elected, the troops will not be coming out of Iraq. If you failed to watch the debate at Dartmouth, which I freely admit I did, you would have learned that Hillary will not guarantee to have the troops out by 2013, nor would most of the other major candidates, with the exception of Bill Richardson and that wingnut Kucinich. Check out MSNBC or any other news website for details.
You poor liberals - placing all that faith in the vaunted leaders of the Democrat Party, and the only person who really represents your point of view is a floppy-eared bunny with a trophy wife, and no one but a very few of you takes him seriously.
I wish I could say that the Republicans are offering us an exceptional candidate, but I'd be lying. I don't see a single one at this point who has captured my interest. I'm leaning towards Romney at this point, but only because he has proven leadership ability in business as well as politics - a factor that never seems to make much of a difference to most of the voting age population.
The sole reason I even mentioned the upcoming election is to encourage anyone who reads this to think not only about our future, but the future of peoples around the world when it comes time to vote in November '08. As a converted liberal, there is very little chance that I would ever vote for a Democrat, but at this point in the election cycle, I will not make a pick simply because no candidate from either party has made a case that convinces me they should get my vote. In fact, I don't like the choices we're being given, including our wingnut, Ron Paul.
Keep an eye on Burma, or Myanmar, whichever you prefer. If the military rulers do start killing monks and civilians, let's see how the U.N. and the world reacts - that will be the true indicator as to whether a new age of concern for our fellow man has dawned around the world.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Illegal Aliens & Driving
My initial reaction to the news that illegal aliens could now obtain a New York State Drivers License was negative, simply because it seems to reward those who are here illegally. I checked out the 9-11 Families website that opposes this effort across the country because they feel it encourages and abets terrorists.
Now that my liberal friends are frothing and preparing for another conservative rant, let me state that I also went to Governor Spitzer's website, where I found a lot more information that convinced me that this is the right way to handle the situation.
I was very encouraged to see that they will be implementing face-recognition technology and numerous other safety enhancements to prevent those amongst us that may find it handy to hop over a couple of counties and apply for a new license when the occasion arises.
Having worked in the insurance industry for the past 24 years, I've come to appreciate the fact that knowledge is indeed powerful, especially when it comes to learning how to drive. It can help save your life and the lives of others. The program will be launched in two phases, the first addressing those people who had lost licenses in the past due to their inability to meet the previous regulations. After that, and after they've had time to staff up for the onslaught, any New Yorker will be able to apply.
As far as staffing up for the influx so as not to inconvenience actual citizens, we're talking about the DMV right? We can only hope that as systems progress, everything that needs to be accomplished at the DMV can someday be completed via the Internet.
In contrast to the security arguments offered by the 9-11 Families site, I also found the security arguments on the Governor's site more convincing.
Now you can go to both of the websites and make up your own minds.
To my opposites on the political spectrum, I know you don't expect a conservative to actually try to look at both sides of any issue and make an independent decision.
Sorry to disappoint you.
I obtained this picture from one of my yahoo groups, then added the frame and text - hope you like it.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Odds & Ends
POLL QUESTION
I took another Zogby Poll this evening, and at the end of this one, they offered the opportunity to suggest a question for a future Zogby poll. My question:
"If Jerusalem became the home for the United Nations, becoming the first "world city" - open to everyone of all faiths, do you believe this would provide the impetus necessary for peace in the Middle East?"
Feel free to share your opinions here as well. I think the Dali Lama should be in charge - no, I'm not kidding - think about it. Or not.
THE YANKEES
In 1978, as the Yankees closed in on the Red Sox, I was mere weeks away from getting married, and Bucky Dent was only days away from becoming Bucky "F*****" Dent in all of New England. In Yankeeland, we believe, while in New England, and even parts of New York, the Red Sox Nation is suffering through a region-wide run on Aspirin, Tylenol, sleeping aids, tissues and Depends.
I had the pleasure of seeing Monday nights game in person with my son, and two friends. I hadn't been to the stadium since Opening Day 1996 - Andy Petite pitching in a snowstorm - and it was a real treat to get back there. I also had the good fortune to be the guest of a gentleman (I use that term loosely Lar) who is a seasoned veteran when it comes to preparing for a ballgame. If you're taking kids, or if you just like to save $200-300 for food, bring your subs/water/chips, etc. in a clear plastic bag and you will be allowed to bring them in with you.
I know you need to make money to pay all those huge salaries George, but $6 for a beer and $5 for a hot dog just violate the basic economic principles most of us live by here in Lewis County.
JOYCE KILMER
There was one other thing about the trip to New York City, or more specifically, The Bronx, that has stirred some different feelings. We parked on the Grand Concourse and saved another chunk of change by walking a few blocks to the stadium. Just up the street from where we parked was Joyce Kilmer Park. I asked my son if he knew who Joyce Kilmer was, and he had no idea, while one of the other guys asked who she was.
Sgt. Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918) was killed in the second Battle of the Marne in WWI, and at the time of his death he was a well known poet in the United States. After my brief dissertation on Mr. Kilmer and the recitation of only the last two lines of the poem, which was all I could remember from my Catholic School days, I wondered what kind of poetry was being studied in middle schools and high schools today.
This very brief poem could be considered trite by more eclectic tastes, but having found it again, I'll share what I think should be the aim of all writers, and something I'm not very good at yet: meaningful brevity.
From his book, "Trees and Other Poems":
Trees
(For Mrs. Henry Mills Alden)
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Photo and link - Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest:
http://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers/regions/southern/JoyceKilmer/index.shtml
GROUND ZERO
The only way Ahmahdinejahd should be allowed at Ground Zero is if he's wearing a bulls eye as a yarmulke, and every Jew in New York City is given an AK47. A bit cheeky and far fetched I'll grant you, but fun to consider nonetheless.
I took another Zogby Poll this evening, and at the end of this one, they offered the opportunity to suggest a question for a future Zogby poll. My question:
"If Jerusalem became the home for the United Nations, becoming the first "world city" - open to everyone of all faiths, do you believe this would provide the impetus necessary for peace in the Middle East?"
Feel free to share your opinions here as well. I think the Dali Lama should be in charge - no, I'm not kidding - think about it. Or not.
THE YANKEES
In 1978, as the Yankees closed in on the Red Sox, I was mere weeks away from getting married, and Bucky Dent was only days away from becoming Bucky "F*****" Dent in all of New England. In Yankeeland, we believe, while in New England, and even parts of New York, the Red Sox Nation is suffering through a region-wide run on Aspirin, Tylenol, sleeping aids, tissues and Depends.
I had the pleasure of seeing Monday nights game in person with my son, and two friends. I hadn't been to the stadium since Opening Day 1996 - Andy Petite pitching in a snowstorm - and it was a real treat to get back there. I also had the good fortune to be the guest of a gentleman (I use that term loosely Lar) who is a seasoned veteran when it comes to preparing for a ballgame. If you're taking kids, or if you just like to save $200-300 for food, bring your subs/water/chips, etc. in a clear plastic bag and you will be allowed to bring them in with you.
I know you need to make money to pay all those huge salaries George, but $6 for a beer and $5 for a hot dog just violate the basic economic principles most of us live by here in Lewis County.
JOYCE KILMER
There was one other thing about the trip to New York City, or more specifically, The Bronx, that has stirred some different feelings. We parked on the Grand Concourse and saved another chunk of change by walking a few blocks to the stadium. Just up the street from where we parked was Joyce Kilmer Park. I asked my son if he knew who Joyce Kilmer was, and he had no idea, while one of the other guys asked who she was.
Sgt. Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918) was killed in the second Battle of the Marne in WWI, and at the time of his death he was a well known poet in the United States. After my brief dissertation on Mr. Kilmer and the recitation of only the last two lines of the poem, which was all I could remember from my Catholic School days, I wondered what kind of poetry was being studied in middle schools and high schools today.
This very brief poem could be considered trite by more eclectic tastes, but having found it again, I'll share what I think should be the aim of all writers, and something I'm not very good at yet: meaningful brevity.
From his book, "Trees and Other Poems":
Trees
(For Mrs. Henry Mills Alden)
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Photo and link - Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest:
http://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers/regions/southern/JoyceKilmer/index.shtmlGROUND ZERO
The only way Ahmahdinejahd should be allowed at Ground Zero is if he's wearing a bulls eye as a yarmulke, and every Jew in New York City is given an AK47. A bit cheeky and far fetched I'll grant you, but fun to consider nonetheless.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Dynamic Duo
It really doesn't bother me all that much that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is coming to the U.N. again. After all, the U.N. is the world's bastion of civic dysfunction, so what better place for the freaky little goat-humper to show up and deliver yet another rambling sermon. I know the "goat-humper" bit is quite disrespectful, not really acceptable from a really-real writer - that's why it works for me.
What bothers me more is where the bandy-legged, bearded butt-monkey is going next. To my favorite South American country: Venezuela. We all know who lives in Venezuela: Benito Jr.
For review purposes: I think Hugo Chavez could be Benito Mussolini's grandson, and I think he will eventually share the same fate as Il Duce.
You think we should be worried about Iran getting nuclear capability? How far behind do think Chavez and Venezuela will be? Benito Jr. has already hinted that it may be in their future, but at this point I think he's just doing it to jerk our chain - but it won't always be that way. Cuba was an island, and JFK could blockade the nukes coming in. Developing the scientific ability and the necessary materials to construct a nuclear weapon can be done in a much more clandestine manner than just bringing in rocket launchers. It may just get to be a whole lot tougher to enforce the Monroe Doctrine in the 21st Century.
Yet we blithely go on filling up at Citgo stations and putting millions of dollars into the pockets of a South American lunatic dedicated to whatever is bad for us.
Come on and wake up Northern New York! Let's start the boycott here! Don't buy gas, don't purchase anything from someone who deals with Citgo. Making a stinking buck at the expense of your fellow countrymen is allowable - that's capitalism, but when it also works to the detriment of your fellow countrymen and increases a potential threat to their security, then it's time to look for a different distributor.
BOYCOTT CITGO -
PAY A FEW PENNIES MORE OUT OF YOUR POCKET
TO KEEP THE DOLLARS OUT OF HUGO'S POCKETS!
Brought to you courtesy of your friendly Northern New York troublemaker. If you like the caricatures, check out the Cox & Forkum website:
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Simpatico
Walking across a parking lot this evening, my lovely wife stepped on my heel.
She said, "Ouch!"
When we celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary in a few weeks, I'll have to remind her of this little incident.
In the past eighteen months I've attended fourteen funerals, and that includes my daughters this past December. Statistically speaking, the death of a child often results in the demise of the marriage as well. We vowed to become part of the statistical group that stays together a long time ago, and that's a vow we will honor "until death do us part".
We finish each other's sentences at times; we have those scary moments when the same idiotic thought pops into each other's mind simultaneously; we share.
There will be times when I will be writing about depression, because it is a malady that I am well acquainted with. I survive, even thrive at times, because my best friend is always there for me. To this point in time, I've been there for her too, but there are few husbands in history who didn't have room for some improvement.
As I cruised various news sources on the web today, replete with a Russian non-nuclear bomb capable of killing all living things within three miles, I started to make a list of every story that detailed potential threats to life, limb, fin, wing, et. al. - just got plan sick of it after a while and threw the damn paper away.
Thus, I turn to my best friend, my wife, for inspiration as usual, and post this knowing that when she wakes tomorrow morning and has her first cup of coffee, long before anyone else in the house is awake, she will read this to start her day and know that I am blessed to have my best friend as my wife. These flowers are for you:
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
MoveOn.losers
Liberals and Dems who have the least bit of respect for our military should be raising their voices in outrage over the "General Betrayus" ad that MoveOn.org placed in the New York Times yesterday. There is no group in America at this time, other than the ACLU, that is more dedicated to making this the United Socialist States of America than the slimebags at MoveOn. The disgusting ad they placed is an insult not only to General Pratraeus, but to our entire military. George Soros, the money man behind MoveOn.losers, was not born in the United States, but he's spending his millions of dollars to turn it into the socialist quagmire that now inhabits the European continent.
Created to help us all move on after SlickWillie got his BJ in the Oval Office, MoveOn.losers is the largest collection of losers since the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. Their standard format is libel, slander and character assassination based on their perverted vision of what the future of the United States should be. If you like "Big Government", if you think George Orwell was prophetic, then MoveOn.losers is the group for you.
For any American seeking to find middle ground, hoping to be able to bring our people together, MoveOn.losers is an object lesson in how NOT to do it. They are liars, scoundrels and charlatans of the worst sort, not worthy of respect or consideration. I wonder how it must feel to be a Democrat raised on the likes of Harry Truman and Jack Kennedy, and now find yourself and your party held hostage by the lunatic left-wing fringe of your party? I'm sure that Senator Joe Liberman or Zell Miller could tell us - just look at how MoveOn.losers have smeared Senator Liberman simply because he supports our efforts in Iraq. His own party dumped him, assisted by the MoveOn.losers, yet the people of Connecticut rejected the effluent drivel of MoveOn.losers, they rejected the automaton selected to replace Joe Liberman, and they sent Joe back to the Senate.
There should be no place in American politics for the likes of MoveOn.losers, but being a freedom loving nation, we let all the wingnuts have a voice - right and left. The depths to which MoveOn.losers sinks is deplorable, but not unexpected. Politics is a dirty business, regardless of what the politicians tell us, and though the Dems on the hill may try to distance themselves from this ad, most Americans will remember who MoveOn.losers speaks for. As one Democrat Senator noted yesterday, it wouldn't look good for a senator to call the General a liar, so they let this group of henchmen handle the task.
So, my Democrat friends, who will be the voice of your party? Will it be the west coast whack-jobs, or someone more grounded in reality?
My son asked me the other day that if I had to vote for a Democrat for President, who would it be. Having never given the question any thought previously, I quickly ran through the list of candidates in my mind:
John Edwards: Anybody who pays $400 for a haircut should be more concerned about what's growing "between" his ears than "over" his ear. A slick lawyer who just happens to be pretty, you get the impression that if he ever ran out of hairspray, his neck would not be strong enough to support his head, even though there is very little inside of it. All show - no substance.
Joe Biden: Apparently no one cares about plagiarism in college anymore, so Joe has jumped right back into the fray. Unfortunately for Joe, his train left the station a long time ago and he is the only person on that train.
Barack Obama: Or as Teddy Kennedy refers to him, Osama Obama. I can't find enough of a track record here to really tell me much about the man. As far as I can tell, he's black and that seems to be his main claim to fame, but when you listen to him speak, you get the impression that there is a substantial intellect at work, not necessarily restricted to party talking points. I don't think he'll get the nomination at this point, but the second spot on the ticket is his for the asking.
Dennis Kucinich: Do you think this is who Hillary and John Edwards were talking about when they said they needed to reduce the number of participants in the debates to the "serious" candidates? Dennis is a shining example of what you can become in America, despite the fact that you have a very hard time finding anyone who will take you seriously.
Bill Richardson: I can't honestly say that I know a lot about this man, but I do know that the times I have listened to him speak, he has seemed thoughtful and well informed. I don't see anyway for him to become the nominee, but as the only Hispanic candidate, he too would bring a lot to the ticket for the Dems.
Al Gore / Gen. Wesley Clark / Al Sharpton / Howard Dean: I list them only because I am so happy none of these idiots is running. I might make an exception though - I do wish the Rev. Al were running for President - I don't see enough of Don King and his hair anymore, so it's still a treat to see "do" the Rev. has. Come to think of it, Howard Dean screaming like a lunatic was entertaining too, but I guess you've got to draw the line somewhere.
Mike Gravel: Who?
Hillary Clinton: That's right my friends, we saved the best for last, because she was the answer to my son's question. If I had to vote for a Democrat for President and I had no other choice, I would vote for Hillary Clinton. (God, I'm going to be ill!)
Why you ask? Have I taken leave of my senses? Have I finally started drinking kool-aid?
The reason is quite simple - she's a bitch.
Let me rephrase that.
In one of the local establishments designed to provide sustenance, a sign hangs on the wall that reads:
"I am not a bitch, I am the bitch!
All of the poor Dems out there who think that if Hillary is elected we'll immediately withdraw from Iraq will be sorely disappointed. She is well aware of the stakes we're playing for, and if there's one woman in the world that I would count upon to destroy our enemies, it's Hillary. Ask anyone who's ever got in her way, ask her adversaries, hell, ask her husband! If Hillary's desire for power weren't so overwhelming, Slick Willie would be carrying the family jewels in a case instead of the usual container by this time. There is nothing in this world more important to Hillary than the exercise of power, and if the Islamic terrorists think they would have free rein with her in charge, that would be another in the long list of miscalculations they've made.
The downside, and the reason she scares the hell out of me, is her desire to bring government into every aspect of our lives. From nationalized health care to abortion-on-demand, this desire of the left to have government in every aspect of our daily lives is frightening. Having become a proponent of the concept that "less government is good government", I find my libertarian streak growing stronger as each day passes, and I find my revulsion for all politicians growing proportionally.
There is a world of difference between a politician and a leader. The last leader we had was Ronald Reagan. Since then, we've had nothing but political hacks - George Bush included. It may surprise some of you, but as I noted in a blog a month or so back, George Bush has failed us as a leader. His inability to define this war in terms that bring us together is his major failure. Even though I agree with the approach that we are taking in Iraq, I find the lack of leadership on the part of the President to be his most glaring fault. To be sure, the Dems have played politics with the War in Iraq, and they continue to do so, but it is the President's lack of vision and his inability to put it into words that has created this rift in our country.
On either side of the aisle, I can find no leaders, only politicians. Love him or hate him, after the disaster of the Carter administration, Ronald Reagan lifted this country from the depression and hangover of Watergate, Vietnam, etc. - that's what a leader does. He made us feel good about ourselves and proud to be Americans again. Asked recently if I cared about what the rest of the world thinks of us, I replied no. For the most part, I don't care what they think because it doesn't have an immediate impact on my life. Like it or not, that's how most of us live - if it doesn't effect us directly, we don't care.
Having given it some additional thought, I still don't care what they think.
Twice in the past century Americans died in Europe because Europeans couldn't bring themselves to do what had to be done before the wars started. Appeasement and whiny diplomacy a la Neville Chamberlain (the Madeline Albright of the 1930's) proved to be as ineffective as anyone today trying to deal with Hamas.
So as far as Europe is concerned, I'd rather be right than loved.
Therein lies the conundrum for a lot of people who consider themselves to be Democrats - their overriding desire to be loved sometimes overshadows the dictates of common sense. We all suffer from the affliction - we all want to be loved - we'd all love to sit 'round the campfire and sing Kumbaya - we all hate violence and death - but I guess you could say that conservatives are those who have given up on Utopia.
One of the reasons I love science fiction is that in many of these creations, mankind has reached a point in their development where we are one world, one government. If you've ever heard a conservative say "One world - one government", they did so for one of three reasons:
1.) They hate the concept and some of them are certain that Bill Clinton would still be President
2.) They were held captive by the Chinese Communists and brainwashed to believe Bono will be the President
3.) The CIA slipped some acid into their martini and they've gone back to Haight-Ashbury to get in touch with their younger selves
Weak attempts at humor aside, the concept of one world, one government will be the next stop on our ride through history. Some threat from beyond our galaxy, some great political or seismic upheaval here on earth, some disaster never dreamt of - create your own story line, but eventually we must end up one world - one people.
What do you want that world to look like? Sharia Law or Democracy? Women as second class citizens or equal partners? Intolerance or freedom of speech? Fear or freedom to come and go as you please?
I can understand those who feel my whole argument here is somewhat grandiose, but if you take a step back and project yourself 100, 200, 1000 years from now, if we haven't killed ourselves off, what will the world look like?
I would prefer that my descendants live in a democracy; free to believe or not believe in God as they chose, free to speak their minds without fear of retribution, and free to follow the path in life that they chose.
If we stand idly by, clinging to concepts that are not yet ripe, and we fail to wage this battle to the full extent of our power and determination, then the one world that we hope to see come to fruition will bear unpalatable fruit.
Monday, September 10, 2007
On Middle Age
I was told the other day that I was middle-aged and that I should look forward to my golden years. First off, I don't expect to live to be 112, so at the tender age of 56, the only thing I'm in the middle of is hair loss and girth growth. And as far as the "Golden Years" go, I think someone has again mistaken pyrite for the more malleable metal.
Unless one knows their date of departure, middle-aged could be any age, but most of us associate middle-age with that period of time when the invincibility of youth gives way to the uncertainty of time. A very good friend of mine, even more middle-aged than I am, sent this poem to me the other day. His name is Charlie Walker, and I hope you enjoy his work as much as I did:
ON MIDDLE AGE
There is that strange sunlit moment
When, as a pebble tossed carelessly into the air,
Life itself arcs and reaches a shimmering apogee.
I can climb no higher
And yet I struggle against the inexorable fall.
How profligate I have been...
Squandering the days of half a lifetime.
Never realizing until the toll was called
How precious mere moments could become.
My God! I have lost whole years!
Long ago, still fearing death,
I foolishly wished to live forever.
While not yet the friend it will become,
Death seems a gentler, more acceptable estate.
Now we can meet on more even terms.
Each year passed, is a room, neatly labeled.
Of triumphs and failure; no hint is given by the doors.
They are closed and sealed forever.
Yet, contained within are the patterns for what must come.
Images from which time will weave its unclear cloth.
Still the fabric of dreams.
There is quite a bit to be digested, so read it over a couple of times and find yourself.
Unless one knows their date of departure, middle-aged could be any age, but most of us associate middle-age with that period of time when the invincibility of youth gives way to the uncertainty of time. A very good friend of mine, even more middle-aged than I am, sent this poem to me the other day. His name is Charlie Walker, and I hope you enjoy his work as much as I did:
ON MIDDLE AGE
There is that strange sunlit moment
When, as a pebble tossed carelessly into the air,
Life itself arcs and reaches a shimmering apogee.
I can climb no higher
And yet I struggle against the inexorable fall.
How profligate I have been...
Squandering the days of half a lifetime.
Never realizing until the toll was called
How precious mere moments could become.
My God! I have lost whole years!
Long ago, still fearing death,
I foolishly wished to live forever.
While not yet the friend it will become,
Death seems a gentler, more acceptable estate.
Now we can meet on more even terms.
Each year passed, is a room, neatly labeled.
Of triumphs and failure; no hint is given by the doors.
They are closed and sealed forever.
Yet, contained within are the patterns for what must come.
Images from which time will weave its unclear cloth.
Still the fabric of dreams.
There is quite a bit to be digested, so read it over a couple of times and find yourself.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Never Forget
Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, I switched on the radio as I was driving to the Amsterdam Monroe Muffler and heard a report that a plane of some sort had flown into the World Trade Center. Upon reaching the dealership, I asked if I could turn the TV on in their waiting room. As the man behind the desk and a couple of other customers watched along with me, we saw plane number two strike the other tower.
"Son-of-a-bitch!"
With that being said, everyone in the room realized that we were under attack. We should have realized it when Iran seized our embassy personnel during the Carter administration, but all the subsequent terror attacks still left us comfortably smug in our safety. At least until 9-11-01.
Here we are, six years later, listening to disingenuous politicians telling us that Iraq is not a front in the War On Terror. If those that speak it truly believe it, and are not just saying it for political purposes, then they are even more dangerous than conniving politicos. To deny that Iraq is a front in the War On Terror is akin to saying the brain is only a part of the body and has nothing to do with the rest of it. I do know some liberals like that, but most of them were dropped on their heads as young children.
During WWII, the media, including the movie and recording industries, got behind the war effort and produced propaganda. When you hear the word "propaganda", most of us automatically attach a negative connotation, but FDR knew, just as the terrorists know now, that propaganda is a necessary component of the home front in any war. Did you find it as hard to believe as I that MSNBC refused to run spots that support our efforts in Iraq? You can see them on other channels - parents who have lost a child, disabled veterans, regular Americans, asking the country to continue to support our efforts in Iraq. These morons at MSNBC are "anti-war" - well, who isn't? Everyone in their right mind is anti-war, it's just that some people like to play Pollyanna instead of dealing with reality.
There is a dark side to propaganda - thus the negatives we associate with the word. There is a comment on my previous post that provides a link to a You Tube video by the band "Stuck Mojo". The video is set against some spoken words, as well as their song "Open Season". This is a very disturbing video from many aspects, but you should take the time to watch the entire video:
"Son-of-a-bitch!"
With that being said, everyone in the room realized that we were under attack. We should have realized it when Iran seized our embassy personnel during the Carter administration, but all the subsequent terror attacks still left us comfortably smug in our safety. At least until 9-11-01.
Here we are, six years later, listening to disingenuous politicians telling us that Iraq is not a front in the War On Terror. If those that speak it truly believe it, and are not just saying it for political purposes, then they are even more dangerous than conniving politicos. To deny that Iraq is a front in the War On Terror is akin to saying the brain is only a part of the body and has nothing to do with the rest of it. I do know some liberals like that, but most of them were dropped on their heads as young children.
During WWII, the media, including the movie and recording industries, got behind the war effort and produced propaganda. When you hear the word "propaganda", most of us automatically attach a negative connotation, but FDR knew, just as the terrorists know now, that propaganda is a necessary component of the home front in any war. Did you find it as hard to believe as I that MSNBC refused to run spots that support our efforts in Iraq? You can see them on other channels - parents who have lost a child, disabled veterans, regular Americans, asking the country to continue to support our efforts in Iraq. These morons at MSNBC are "anti-war" - well, who isn't? Everyone in their right mind is anti-war, it's just that some people like to play Pollyanna instead of dealing with reality.
There is a dark side to propaganda - thus the negatives we associate with the word. There is a comment on my previous post that provides a link to a You Tube video by the band "Stuck Mojo". The video is set against some spoken words, as well as their song "Open Season". This is a very disturbing video from many aspects, but you should take the time to watch the entire video:
I find very little to disagree with in lyrics of the song, but I find the little girl shouting her desire to be a suicide bomber abhorrent, and I found the courage of that one woman to speak the truth not only refreshing, but remarkable.
It is disturbing not only for what it shows us about Islam, but it also shows us that we, even with the best of intentions, are just as capable of intolerance and hatred as the Muslims are. We feel we are responding to actions they initiated, which is precisely the same thing they think.
The real reason the video is so disturbing is really quite simple: I can see no solution to the problem, other than an all out war.
Iraq is not the cause, it is only a symptom, a part of the overall disease. The disease is Islam and the reason we have not heard the moderate voices of Islam decry the foul actions of their brethren is because the moderate voices are very few and very frightened.
I will remember 9-11, I will never forget. I will not classify all Muslims as terrorists, yet I will never turn my back to them. I would be perfectly happy to let them live in the 5th Century if they would let me live in peace in the 21st, but I don't think that's what they have in mind.
Please remember to fly your American flag this Tuesday, wear a flag pin - do whatever you feel is appropriate to commemorate and honor all of the Americans and other nationalities who lost their lives six years ago.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Osama Speaks - Are Democrats Listening?
"I invite you to embrace Islam .... It will also achieve your desire to stop the war as a consequence, because as soon as the warmongering owners of the major corporations realize that you have lost confidence in your democratic system and have begun to look for an alternative, and this alternative is Islam, they will run after you to please you and achieve what you want to steer you away from Islam.
The leaders of the West - especially Bush, Blair, Sarkozy and Brown - still talk about freedom and human rights with a flagrant disregard for the intellects of human beings. So is there a form of terrorism stronger, clearer and more dangerous than this? This is why I tell you: as you liberated yourselves before from the slavery of monks, kings, and feudalism, you should liberate yourselves from the deception, shackles and attrition of the capitalist system."
Osama Bin Laden - Video Tape released 9-7-07
If you remove the Bin Laden name and read just the second paragraph, you could attribute that statement to Lenin, Stalin, and millions of Americans who subscribe to European style socialism and/or communism. It seems Bin Laden has taken a page out of the communist handbook, a page from the Democrat's political playbook, mixed them together rapidly, and viola: a little class warfare along with his proselytizing for Islam.
Our fellow citizens who would prefer to just pull up stakes and get out of Iraq as quickly as they can are not performing up to Mr. Bin Laden's expectations either:
"The vast majority of you (Americans) want it (the Iraqi war) stopped. Thus you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there, which has led to the vast majority of you being afflicted by disappointment."
He's mad because the Dems have been unable to pull the plug, even though they control both houses of Congress. It would seem that there are times when gridlock serves a very useful purpose.
My fellow liberal Americans, how does it feel to be doing the bidding of Osama? I know you're not doing it intentionally, but you're playing on his side nonetheless. It would appear that he feels Iraq is a center of the War on Terrorism, contrary to what the Boobsey Twins: Reid & Durbin think. Listening to the two of them bloviate yesterday was incredibly disheartening. Whining that since the President stopped in Iraq, General Petraeus's report will only be what Bush allows (Reid), or whining that the surge is an obvious failure (Durbin), these two have probably done more to benefit the Republican Party than anyone else. If you needed any further evidence that politics, not the welfare of the nation, is their primary focus, yesterdays remarks should have sealed the deal for you. Not to mention the fact that Dirty Harry's idiotic statement basically asserts that General Petraeus is not an honest man, capable of speaking his own mind - only a toadie for GWB. If I were the General, I think I'd demand an apology from Reid and then knock him on his ass if he failed to apologize immediately. I don't subscribe to violence as a remedy in many situations, but if you insult my integrity and honesty with absolutely no proof of same, a shot to offending aperture is not necessarily unwarranted.
"If ...General Pratraeus is allowed to give his report, I'll bet a dollar to a hole in a donut that they'll reject the report out of hand, regardless of the facts on the ground. If you don't believe that, you don't know a real politician."
The leaders of the West - especially Bush, Blair, Sarkozy and Brown - still talk about freedom and human rights with a flagrant disregard for the intellects of human beings. So is there a form of terrorism stronger, clearer and more dangerous than this? This is why I tell you: as you liberated yourselves before from the slavery of monks, kings, and feudalism, you should liberate yourselves from the deception, shackles and attrition of the capitalist system."
Osama Bin Laden - Video Tape released 9-7-07
If you remove the Bin Laden name and read just the second paragraph, you could attribute that statement to Lenin, Stalin, and millions of Americans who subscribe to European style socialism and/or communism. It seems Bin Laden has taken a page out of the communist handbook, a page from the Democrat's political playbook, mixed them together rapidly, and viola: a little class warfare along with his proselytizing for Islam.
Our fellow citizens who would prefer to just pull up stakes and get out of Iraq as quickly as they can are not performing up to Mr. Bin Laden's expectations either:
"The vast majority of you (Americans) want it (the Iraqi war) stopped. Thus you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there, which has led to the vast majority of you being afflicted by disappointment."
He's mad because the Dems have been unable to pull the plug, even though they control both houses of Congress. It would seem that there are times when gridlock serves a very useful purpose.
My fellow liberal Americans, how does it feel to be doing the bidding of Osama? I know you're not doing it intentionally, but you're playing on his side nonetheless. It would appear that he feels Iraq is a center of the War on Terrorism, contrary to what the Boobsey Twins: Reid & Durbin think. Listening to the two of them bloviate yesterday was incredibly disheartening. Whining that since the President stopped in Iraq, General Petraeus's report will only be what Bush allows (Reid), or whining that the surge is an obvious failure (Durbin), these two have probably done more to benefit the Republican Party than anyone else. If you needed any further evidence that politics, not the welfare of the nation, is their primary focus, yesterdays remarks should have sealed the deal for you. Not to mention the fact that Dirty Harry's idiotic statement basically asserts that General Petraeus is not an honest man, capable of speaking his own mind - only a toadie for GWB. If I were the General, I think I'd demand an apology from Reid and then knock him on his ass if he failed to apologize immediately. I don't subscribe to violence as a remedy in many situations, but if you insult my integrity and honesty with absolutely no proof of same, a shot to offending aperture is not necessarily unwarranted.
"If ...General Pratraeus is allowed to give his report, I'll bet a dollar to a hole in a donut that they'll reject the report out of hand, regardless of the facts on the ground. If you don't believe that, you don't know a real politician."
That quote comes from the Nostradamus of Watson - yours truly, from my blog of Wednesday, July 11th. I never did receive any takers on the bet - go figure. The rejection of the report has already begun, politics reigns supreme as usual, and the American soldier continues to represent the heart of America, while some of it's politicians continue to represent the end of the alimentary canal.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
LUNAcy
http://www.vvdailypress.com/news/_2591___article.html/_.html
If you've not yet heard the name Salvador Luna, the link above will give you enough information about him to come to loathe him in no time at all. Previously convicted of child molestation, deported, he came back to this country and was arrested last year for DUI - the judge gave him probation. Now he has been arrested after his 3 year old niece was found bruised and bleeding - the result of a sexual assault.
The geniuses we've elected to Congress tried to shove an amnesty bill down our throats, but the American people made their feelings known and it went no where. Now they're back in session and the main focus of the majority will be witch hunting, finger pointing and nitpicking, and the minority will be focused on making sure obstructionism does not become a forgotten art.
Meanwhile, our borders remain unsecured, our hospitals-schools-emergency services-jails, etc. continue to be overburdened by illegal aliens, and we foot the bills.
If one is to overcome inertia, a force must be employed. When you have equal, opposing forces, you still get no where, so a common starting point of agreement should be foremost in our considerations. Why not keep it simple, like your golf swing is supposed to be, and just enforce the laws that are on the books. Some of our more liberal states have instructed their state police forces "don't ask - don't tell" - we should all be familiar with that by now. These "sanctuary" entities, at what ever level of government, are illegal.
What's the situation in Lewis County? Jefferson County? Are officers given any type of instruction regarding illegal aliens, or is the question of resident legal status just ignored?
If anyone has answers they'd care to share, please post away - I'd love to hear from you.
The employers who knowingly use illegals should be brought to justice as well. Seems like a common sense approach doesn't it? Well not as far as the ACLU is concerned. They sought and received an injunction that prevents Homeland Security from sending notices to employers regarding the employment of persons with fake Social Security cards. The letters were to inform them that they would be subject to prosecution if they knowingly employed persons with false Social Security cards - but the ACLU, with the blessings of the AFL-CIO no doubt, found a Clinton appointee known for her liberal rulings and the injunction was granted.
I have no doubt it will be overturned, as many rulings that come out of the 5th District are, but this is the kind of lunacy that allows animals like Salvador Luna to prowl the streets of America, and our politicians are doing nothing to make things right.
My old man used to wear steel-toed boots to work at Payne-Jones in Lowville - you know it now as Fibermark. Perhaps the real starting point for this problem would be for Americans from across the country to all don a pair of steel-toed work boots, take a convoy of buses to Washington D.C., and give each and every one of our representatives a good, swift kick in the ass. Regardless of race, creed, color, or gender, they'd each take an ass kickin' if it meant they'd be re-elected.
In this country, our steel-toed boots are usually found in the voting booth. If immigration means anything to you, it might be a good idea to take a real close look at where your candidate stands on the issue.
If you've not yet heard the name Salvador Luna, the link above will give you enough information about him to come to loathe him in no time at all. Previously convicted of child molestation, deported, he came back to this country and was arrested last year for DUI - the judge gave him probation. Now he has been arrested after his 3 year old niece was found bruised and bleeding - the result of a sexual assault.
The geniuses we've elected to Congress tried to shove an amnesty bill down our throats, but the American people made their feelings known and it went no where. Now they're back in session and the main focus of the majority will be witch hunting, finger pointing and nitpicking, and the minority will be focused on making sure obstructionism does not become a forgotten art.
Meanwhile, our borders remain unsecured, our hospitals-schools-emergency services-jails, etc. continue to be overburdened by illegal aliens, and we foot the bills.
If one is to overcome inertia, a force must be employed. When you have equal, opposing forces, you still get no where, so a common starting point of agreement should be foremost in our considerations. Why not keep it simple, like your golf swing is supposed to be, and just enforce the laws that are on the books. Some of our more liberal states have instructed their state police forces "don't ask - don't tell" - we should all be familiar with that by now. These "sanctuary" entities, at what ever level of government, are illegal.
What's the situation in Lewis County? Jefferson County? Are officers given any type of instruction regarding illegal aliens, or is the question of resident legal status just ignored?
If anyone has answers they'd care to share, please post away - I'd love to hear from you.
The employers who knowingly use illegals should be brought to justice as well. Seems like a common sense approach doesn't it? Well not as far as the ACLU is concerned. They sought and received an injunction that prevents Homeland Security from sending notices to employers regarding the employment of persons with fake Social Security cards. The letters were to inform them that they would be subject to prosecution if they knowingly employed persons with false Social Security cards - but the ACLU, with the blessings of the AFL-CIO no doubt, found a Clinton appointee known for her liberal rulings and the injunction was granted.
I have no doubt it will be overturned, as many rulings that come out of the 5th District are, but this is the kind of lunacy that allows animals like Salvador Luna to prowl the streets of America, and our politicians are doing nothing to make things right.
My old man used to wear steel-toed boots to work at Payne-Jones in Lowville - you know it now as Fibermark. Perhaps the real starting point for this problem would be for Americans from across the country to all don a pair of steel-toed work boots, take a convoy of buses to Washington D.C., and give each and every one of our representatives a good, swift kick in the ass. Regardless of race, creed, color, or gender, they'd each take an ass kickin' if it meant they'd be re-elected.
In this country, our steel-toed boots are usually found in the voting booth. If immigration means anything to you, it might be a good idea to take a real close look at where your candidate stands on the issue.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Sleeping, Thunder Jugs & Phone Sex
If I could hold conversations with Abraham Lincoln and a talking hedgehog, and maybe learn a little sign language for the guy in the deep-sea diving outfit, I probably would have to use the product they are hawking on a daily basis just to shut up the hedgehog. Or maybe Lincoln first. Lincoln should sound like the "Savior of the Union", but he comes off more like a psychiatrist trying to talk down a jumper. If you are unfamiliar with this TV commercial - well, just keep going.
Who needs to remember dreams anymore. With the proper sleep aid, REM can come and go and no one will notice. Just like the band. If you are unfamiliar with either dreams, or the band REM, or what REM Sleep is - well, just keep going.
Sleeping is an art form that is best learned and practiced by the young. Due to gravity and the distension of aging internal organs, unless one refrains from liquids from 5pm on, the night becomes a stumbling, bleary eyed procession of relief. I have come to realize that in some respects, we have regressed from the common sense approach to life our ancestors practiced.
My wife and I visited the battlefield at Sackett's Harbor today along with a grandson and nephew. In this early morning tour of the Commandant's Home curiosity was aroused by the appearance of this pristine, white pot, with cover, that was placed on the floor, next to the Commandant's bed. I am proud to say that both children are now familiar with the concept of a chamberpot, or "thunder jug", as it was often called in the 19th Century and points prior.
It brought to mind the conversation I had with my son just before he left for college. We had asked if his phone number was going to be the same, since he was in the same "quad", or whatever they call their grouping of rooms. As it turns out, he didn't know because he was slated to get a different room within the "quad". I jokingly said that since they shared a common area as roommates, they should share a "party line" for their phone.
"What's a party line?"
If I needed any further confirmation of the fact that somethings can become ancient within the space of 56 years, I had just received it in the form of a question.
For those uninitiated in the use and protocols of a party line, let me explain.
First, there was one phone. Not per room, not per level - one phone and it hung in between the kitchen and the living room. I have a couple of photos where you can see the phone. It didn't get around much, and there just weren't that many pictures taken with that background. The phone hung on the wall. I'm not talking about some little, black, plastic number, I'm talking about Mayberry RFD wooden receiver, complete with the piece you put to your ear whilst you speak into the big old phone itself.
This was soon replaced by the little, black, plastic number. I may have used the Mayberry model, but I only remember it because of the photos. But it was still the only phone, right in the middle of life where Mom, Dad and five other brothers and sisters often took as much interest in your phone conversations as you did.
Or as much interest as some of the neighbors. When you did finally manage to get your turn on the line, stuff, as they say, would happen. It would range from the blatant: "Will you kids please get off the line so someone else can make a call!", to the subtle "click" when one would try to join in the listening end of the conversation unannounced.
If there was phone sex on the party lines of the 1950's, it was beyond my capacity to recognize, and way beyond what people of that era would have done. At least in Lewis County, I don't know about Jefferson.
And that, dear reader, concludes our journey from sleeping aid commercial, back through the valley of "thunder jugs", across the wires of the "party line", having at last arrived, back in the 21st Century where phone sex is old hat.
What's the point you may ask?
If you're male, get a chamber pot and use it. It will make sleeping much less stressful and is certain to, pardon the phrase, "piss off" those who require a different position.
Oh, and if the phone rings in the middle of the night, let the answering machine get it - it could be someone from Jefferson County.
Who needs to remember dreams anymore. With the proper sleep aid, REM can come and go and no one will notice. Just like the band. If you are unfamiliar with either dreams, or the band REM, or what REM Sleep is - well, just keep going.
Sleeping is an art form that is best learned and practiced by the young. Due to gravity and the distension of aging internal organs, unless one refrains from liquids from 5pm on, the night becomes a stumbling, bleary eyed procession of relief. I have come to realize that in some respects, we have regressed from the common sense approach to life our ancestors practiced.
My wife and I visited the battlefield at Sackett's Harbor today along with a grandson and nephew. In this early morning tour of the Commandant's Home curiosity was aroused by the appearance of this pristine, white pot, with cover, that was placed on the floor, next to the Commandant's bed. I am proud to say that both children are now familiar with the concept of a chamberpot, or "thunder jug", as it was often called in the 19th Century and points prior.
It brought to mind the conversation I had with my son just before he left for college. We had asked if his phone number was going to be the same, since he was in the same "quad", or whatever they call their grouping of rooms. As it turns out, he didn't know because he was slated to get a different room within the "quad". I jokingly said that since they shared a common area as roommates, they should share a "party line" for their phone.
"What's a party line?"
If I needed any further confirmation of the fact that somethings can become ancient within the space of 56 years, I had just received it in the form of a question.
For those uninitiated in the use and protocols of a party line, let me explain.
First, there was one phone. Not per room, not per level - one phone and it hung in between the kitchen and the living room. I have a couple of photos where you can see the phone. It didn't get around much, and there just weren't that many pictures taken with that background. The phone hung on the wall. I'm not talking about some little, black, plastic number, I'm talking about Mayberry RFD wooden receiver, complete with the piece you put to your ear whilst you speak into the big old phone itself.
This was soon replaced by the little, black, plastic number. I may have used the Mayberry model, but I only remember it because of the photos. But it was still the only phone, right in the middle of life where Mom, Dad and five other brothers and sisters often took as much interest in your phone conversations as you did.
Or as much interest as some of the neighbors. When you did finally manage to get your turn on the line, stuff, as they say, would happen. It would range from the blatant: "Will you kids please get off the line so someone else can make a call!", to the subtle "click" when one would try to join in the listening end of the conversation unannounced.
If there was phone sex on the party lines of the 1950's, it was beyond my capacity to recognize, and way beyond what people of that era would have done. At least in Lewis County, I don't know about Jefferson.
And that, dear reader, concludes our journey from sleeping aid commercial, back through the valley of "thunder jugs", across the wires of the "party line", having at last arrived, back in the 21st Century where phone sex is old hat.
What's the point you may ask?
If you're male, get a chamber pot and use it. It will make sleeping much less stressful and is certain to, pardon the phrase, "piss off" those who require a different position.
Oh, and if the phone rings in the middle of the night, let the answering machine get it - it could be someone from Jefferson County.
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