Animals: The Good-The Bad-The Fugly

THE GOOD

Daisy is the latest addition to the menagerie here, bringing the total to 3 dogs and 2 cats. She's been with us almost four months now, but still has a lot of kitten in her growing feline form. I had been doing laundry most of the day, used the final dryer sheet, and was awaiting the return of my wife to dry the final load of the day. I left the door to the front loading dryer open, ready to just toss in a couple of sheets, close the door and start the clothes drying.

After the usual hubbub had settled from the unloading and packing away of a week's worth of groceries, I grabbed the dryer sheets, tossed a couple in the open door, closed the door and started the dryer up.

I heard a thumping sound that reminded me of sneakers, or maybe boots left in a dryer. My grandson had been outside playing in the snow earlier, so I suspected he had tossed his boots right in without caring what else was in there.

I stopped the dryer and opened the door. That darn cat literally flew out of that dryer so fast that he was out of the dryer and out of the room before my butt hit the floor. Startled but not all that surprised - knowing how cats like to hide away - I sat there and just laughed my fool head off.

Driving Miss Daisy in deed.

THE BAD

And now, a couple of more animal related stories, starting with a salute to my brother Joe. He worked in Wrangle, Alaska for over a year, helping to bring a major power line through. While traveling the wilder portions of the line, he carried a pistol with him in case he happened to run into a bear. Had he been aware of the bear below, he would have immediately recognized the fact that he would have been better off slapping a C.O.D. sticker on his body and hoping there was enough left to ship home.



This gentleman, a member of the U.S. Forest Service, was out hunting deer when he encountered this behemoth. Coming in a just over 1,600 pounds, standing 12'6" at the shoulder and 14' at the head, this lucky gentlemen emptied his 7mm Magnum, semi-automatic rifle into the grizzly, dropping it a few feet from him. Still alive, he then finished him off with his pistol.

The remains of two humans were found inside the bear, and after backtracking, they located one of the bodies and an emptied .38 caliber pistol nearby. The second body was never located.

Reminds me of the atheist walking in the woods who encountered such a bear. He dropped to his knees and screamed "Oh my God!".

At those words, time stood still, bright light encompassed him, and the atheist heard a voice say to him:

"You have denied my existence all these years; you've taught others that I don't exist and have gone so far as to credit the existence of the universe to cosmic chance - so now I am to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." (Thanks JR - I enjoyed that one!)

THE FUGLY

The Naked Mole-Rat exists and can be found in Africa. Based upon the picture below, I can only hope that God does not have any odd reincarnation plans for me. As for the inevitable comparisons between the Naked Mole-Rat and yours truly, I have been called a dick from time to time, but I do not have buck teeth thank you very much.