Uno

"I need to change in Mexico the perception that the Americans are the enemy, and it is important to change the perception that the Mexicans are the enemy," he said. "We are neighbors, we are friends and we must be allies."

"You have two economies. One economy is intensive in capital, which is the American economy. One economy is intensive in labor, which is the Mexican economy," he said. "We are two complementary economies, and that phenomenon is impossible to stop."

Mexican President Felipe Calderon

It's hard to argue with either one of those statements, yet they spotlight the conundrum we face with Mexico. We've been neighbors with Canada just as long; great economic ties; yet they haven't invaded us en masse, even though some of them live in places even colder than Tug Hill.

Which is where statement number two becomes almost indisputable.

Even if you ignore NAFTA, it seems we are inextricably tied to Mexico through our economies, geography, and the growing social bonds are our cultures co-mingle.

I think we should just propose that all of the states in Mexico just become additional states in the union.

Once they all decide to join us, there are no illegal immigrants because we're all one country.

Let's face it, the English may have defeated the Spanish and the French for control of North America, but the descendants of the conquistadors are reproducing at a rate that insures they take over all of North America, including Canada, sometime in the 23rd and a half century. I'd rather have real Mexican food than Taco Bell anyway.

Their bureaucrats and politicians are like ours: a few good ones, a few bad ones, the rest are just happy to be a little fish in a big pond, albeit a well fed fish. Fish don't care what language you speak as long as they are comfy. They could all relocate to Washington D.C. where housing would go through the roof and lobbyist would enjoy a heyday unprecedented in the history of mankind.

As the Baby Boomers age, we'll take over major portions of Mexico. It's a well known fact, in some holistic quarters, that arthritis, dyspepsia and other aches and pains associated with flashbacks and lava lamps all respond to the warmth of the Mexican sun.

We could end the incredibly wasteful war on drugs, legalize pot and have national health care for everyone, even the stoners. Instead of exporting weapons to the world, we can go back to offering the four-finger, $25 ounces of Mexican dirt weed from the early 70's and live happily ever after. With Mexico, Hawaii and California we'd have the best stuff in the world and sell so much we'd have to form our own "OPEC": Organization of Pot Exporting Countries.

I know it's just a pipe dream, but who cares if you have to press #2 for English.