Uno

"I need to change in Mexico the perception that the Americans are the enemy, and it is important to change the perception that the Mexicans are the enemy," he said. "We are neighbors, we are friends and we must be allies."

"You have two economies. One economy is intensive in capital, which is the American economy. One economy is intensive in labor, which is the Mexican economy," he said. "We are two complementary economies, and that phenomenon is impossible to stop."

Mexican President Felipe Calderon

It's hard to argue with either one of those statements, yet they spotlight the conundrum we face with Mexico. We've been neighbors with Canada just as long; great economic ties; yet they haven't invaded us en masse, even though some of them live in places even colder than Tug Hill.

Which is where statement number two becomes almost indisputable.

Even if you ignore NAFTA, it seems we are inextricably tied to Mexico through our economies, geography, and the growing social bonds are our cultures co-mingle.

I think we should just propose that all of the states in Mexico just become additional states in the union.

Once they all decide to join us, there are no illegal immigrants because we're all one country.

Let's face it, the English may have defeated the Spanish and the French for control of North America, but the descendants of the conquistadors are reproducing at a rate that insures they take over all of North America, including Canada, sometime in the 23rd and a half century. I'd rather have real Mexican food than Taco Bell anyway.

Their bureaucrats and politicians are like ours: a few good ones, a few bad ones, the rest are just happy to be a little fish in a big pond, albeit a well fed fish. Fish don't care what language you speak as long as they are comfy. They could all relocate to Washington D.C. where housing would go through the roof and lobbyist would enjoy a heyday unprecedented in the history of mankind.

As the Baby Boomers age, we'll take over major portions of Mexico. It's a well known fact, in some holistic quarters, that arthritis, dyspepsia and other aches and pains associated with flashbacks and lava lamps all respond to the warmth of the Mexican sun.

We could end the incredibly wasteful war on drugs, legalize pot and have national health care for everyone, even the stoners. Instead of exporting weapons to the world, we can go back to offering the four-finger, $25 ounces of Mexican dirt weed from the early 70's and live happily ever after. With Mexico, Hawaii and California we'd have the best stuff in the world and sell so much we'd have to form our own "OPEC": Organization of Pot Exporting Countries.

I know it's just a pipe dream, but who cares if you have to press #2 for English.

No Child Left Inside???

"Attention all citizens - you are fat - your government knows it and we're going to do something about it because you're too damn lazy to do it yourself. Since you are either incapable or ambivalent about the girth of your progeny, we must take your parenting rights away for the welfare of the country. Remember how we banned smoking in your homes and cars for your own welfare, and how we banned all spanking of children to protect their butts and your hands? Just consider this the next, necessary step in the evolution of our great United Socialist States of America."




The positioning of the picture would lead one to think that Bill Clinton uttered those words.

He did not, never has, and never will - but more about Bill later.

Does that sound rather Orwellian? Impossible?

Down in New Mexico, home of Bill Richardson, Democratic lawmakers are preparing their "No Child Left Inside" legislation that will tax TV's and video games and use the money for education.

Right.

This initiative is also backed by the Sierra Club; I guess they figure that if the taxes are high enough, parents will stop buying TV's and video games and the kids will flock to the great outdoors and become environmentalists.

Now before my progressive friends go apoplectic on me, I consider myself to be an environmentalist. I live in the forest, I love the forest and everything that nature has to offer - I'm just not at the SS Stormtrooper level of some so-called environmentalist. I don't belong to the NRA or the Sierra Club - guess I'm just not a "club" kind of guy.

Better living through progressive legislation!

That's a motto that, even if unheard in public, is the driving force behind socialism. The politicians in New Mexico are not evil people, they're not doing this for political purposes as far as I can tell, other than the play on the name. They are well intentioned and just as incredibly wrong as any human being can be.

The taxes will go for education - that's always the grabber. Taxes, taxes and more taxes. It was actually refreshing to see the morons in Washington get together and try to do something productive last week, but just like FDR who started this whole entitlement society, government once again thinks it knows best and is buying us off with 30 pieces of silver.

To be perfectly honest - I'm not really sure if their actions this week with regards to the economy are right or wrong - all I do know is that when government starts throwing money at you, you want to start shining the flashlight in the corner to see where the smell is coming from.

I'm sorry if that offends my conservative and/or progressive friends, but I believe that a healthy distrust of your government is a necessity if we're to maintain our freedoms. Politicians are people that mean well, but power and prestige effect different people in different ways.

Take Bill Clinton for instance. Instead of displaying the dignity of a former President as most of his predecessors (excluding Peanut-Brain of course) have done, he has chosen once again to use his digital dexterity to excoriate the press (no problem there) and look directly into the eyes of the American people and play loose with the truth.

You think its just me? From South Carolina black congressmen to the editorial page of the The Dallas Morning News, many eyebrows are being raised at the manner in which the former President has been conducting himself.

It is my sincerest hope that Hillary does become the nominee of the Democrat Party. Even is she wins, after two years of her in office, the conservative movement will have a rebirth amongst those who consider themselves "middle-of-the-road", and we'll hopefully be able to get back to a government that balances their check book and lives within their means.

We have to do it - why shouldn't they?

At the age of 56 I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds, but I am not "fat" as far as my doctor is concerned and thankfully I no longer have to attract young women - or women of any age honey - thought I'd better throw that in there as my wife does read the blog occasionally. She says she listens to enough of my sh** and doesn't have to go online to read it.

The point being, we are responsible for ourselves and our children. Scientists are now examining certain chemicals, or lack there of, that may be a key factor in obesity and may actually be the cause of obesity in many people.

How do we legislate against that?

Even if you are well-intentioned you can still be very, very wrong.

That last line was a soft-ball for all of the progressive/liberals out there who are just dying to take a shot at me - have fun!