When I first heard the story of the Massachusetts legislator who proposed an Anti-Spanking bill, I sloughed it off as just another chapter in liberal-land East. Then I learned that since the 1970's, starting with Sweden, 16 countries now ban any form of corporal punishment. From the heart of liberalism, Boston, the following link provides proof that there are still people capable of cogent thought in Massachusetts:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/editorials/view.bg?articleid=1047417
Let's start with my Dad. I got a few spankings, a lot fewer than what I deserved, but they served their purpose, as well as my Dad's. There was this damn little bird that always told him what we'd done during the day, so just the threat of hearing: "Go down to the cellar!" was oft times enough to forestall the harebrained scheme of the day. Remind me to tell you about the time my brother and I were playing with matches. We were across the road in a little depression with pine needles piled . . . we'll stop there - it's still a painful memory. Not because we got spankings, but because we couldn't play baseball for 2 weeks in the summer! I would have rather had an ass whoopin' every day during that 2 week period if I could have still played baseball.
Now, as far as spanking my kids, I was faced with two very distinctive attitudes towards spanking from Beth and Carissa.
All I had to do was look at Beth and tell her I was going to spank her, and she'd have her back in a corner, pleading for me not to spank her. I never did have to spank her much; I wound up laughing too hard.
Now Carissa was a totally different animal. She was determined never to show pain or cry as long as I was around. I got so sick of hearing "Go ahead and spank me - you can't hurt me!" that I found it pointless to threaten her with spanking anymore. I hate losing to a six year old.
If you're ready for European style socialism here in America, you'll appreciate this post from another site that I'm going to share with you:
If your 3 year old tries to repeatedly climb on a hot stove and you spank him, the state can come in and take your child away because you spanked him.
If you don't spank him and he subsequently burns himself, the state comes in and takes him because you're an unfit parent.
Why not just have the state take all children at birth? They can raise them, train them to be good little socialists, and free up more time for Mommy and Daddy to save the whales.
Please note that I am being entirely facetious, but you get the point.
Actually, I'd be just fine with an anti-spanking law, as long as we, the people, get to spank them, the politicians. It wouldn't have to be anything other than a one day national holiday - we could call it National Paddle Your Politician day. You get one whack at your least favorite politician, which of course would mean that George Bush would be serving the rest of his term standing. Hillary would be whiney, but eventually take the licks because it's worth the power. Her husband, on the other hand, would be absolutely thrilled because spanking usually costs him a little extra.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Joke From Ranger Bob
One day the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine. Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she found that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" But there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello. Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine. The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out.."Well, at least Dopey's still alive..."
Thanks Ranger - you don't have to be Dopey to vote for Hillary, but it helps.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she found that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" But there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello. Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine. The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out.."Well, at least Dopey's still alive..."
Thanks Ranger - you don't have to be Dopey to vote for Hillary, but it helps.
Monday, November 26, 2007
So I Had This Relapse...
... I know, I wasn't going to let my political jones take hold of me, but alas, I failed.
So while I'm at it, how many of my liberal brethren:
1.) Believe the surge is working, a la the NY Times & Washington Post reports?
2.) If you do believe it's working, what do you feel we should be doing in the next year?
3.) Think it's all Bush administration propaganda?
Feel free to share your thoughts. I do not edit your posts, and to this point at least, I've never had to delete one for vulgarity. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to language and the use of words - I suppose that's one aspect of liberalism I'll always cherish.
You just need to keep one thing in mind: Just because you have the right, doesn't mean it's right.
So while I'm at it, how many of my liberal brethren:
1.) Believe the surge is working, a la the NY Times & Washington Post reports?
2.) If you do believe it's working, what do you feel we should be doing in the next year?
3.) Think it's all Bush administration propaganda?
Feel free to share your thoughts. I do not edit your posts, and to this point at least, I've never had to delete one for vulgarity. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to language and the use of words - I suppose that's one aspect of liberalism I'll always cherish.
You just need to keep one thing in mind: Just because you have the right, doesn't mean it's right.
It's Still The Border - It's Still The Law
It has been suggested by some that I am a racist. Apparently my stance on immigration left some people feeling I was guilty of employing subtle racism.
As anyone who knows me will tell you, the color of your skin, your religion, your ethnicity, your gender, even your politics are not how I consider anyone. The kind of person you are means everything - just as it does to all of you in your everyday lives. People that you meet face to face are subject to your evaluation, whether you consciously think of it as such or not.
Here, prioritized no less, are my abhorrent views on immigration:
1.) We have been a nation of immigrants from the start, and we will always be a nation that welcomes those who wish to become one of us - an American. If you feel it necessary to apologize to Native Americans for what happened, I won't stop you, but I won't join you either. Different time, different values, and if you feel superior by denigrating the actions that created America, you can have my share of guilt too if it makes you feel better. The possibility that we are one man-made or celestial disaster away from the return of "might makes right" seldom occurs to the civilized sophisticates of today.
2.) We must secure our borders first. Apparently the President and 99% of the politicians in this country haven't been listening to what the majority of Americans want when it comes to immigration. We want secure borders first and foremost.
If you haven't heard of or read the story in the Washington Times, then you owe it to yourself to check this story out. I first heard about it on Fox News, then got to the article link through the Drudge Report. Here's the link: http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071126/NATION/111260034/1001
For as little as $20,000, drug lords have apparently already helped some terrorists cross into this country, a mere 20 miles from Fort Huachuca, the largest intelligence training center the Army has. I know, it could happen on the Canadian border as well. However, if you wish to be pragmatic and intellectually honest, the Mexican border is the priority. To suggest otherwise is nonsense.
Let's pretend for a moment that Henry Waxman says he has proof that this was all a "wag the dog" effort by Dick Cheney, and that's why he's got an irregular heartbeat.
We're still left with all the nightmarish possibilities the human mind is capable of conceiving; we're still left with drug lords that supply the vast majority of cocaine, methamphetamine, pot and heroin to the US; we're still left facing a country that assists its citizens in illegally crossing the border, while the corruption of government does nothing to address the issues that force their citizens to leave in the first place, and we're still left holding the bag in terms of medical costs, jail costs, education costs, court costs, etc. for those who have broken the law in order to get here. I don't know about you, but I'm paying all the freaking taxes I can stand right now!
3.) Create a guest worker program & fine/jail employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens. People of good conscience occupy both sides of the aisles, so a workable program is possible. Blanket amnesty didn't work when President Reagan tried it, and it won't work now either. Gang bangers, anyone with a felony conviction - these folks need to experience jails in their country of origin at the expense of their fellow citizens.
The objective of any immigrant should be to become an American. This current "diversity" drive is rampant in corporate boardrooms, blooming with verbal fertilizer in academia, and hailed by the media as a panacea for the soul of the nation.
I'm in favor of starting up the melting pot again. The first ones in would be the secular progressives and the cowpies at the ACLU. They won't melt, they won't go away, and they won't be injured in any way, but their hot air and BS gets the water to a boiling temperature much faster than wood. Next, we mix in all the legal immigrants who are working towards American citizenship. They want to be in the pot anyway - that's why they came here.
Next, we'll work in those who may have come here illegally, but have stayed out of trouble, raised a family, and have learned, or are trying to learn, how to speak English. Please insert accusations of racism here, the same way some black people do to Bill Cosby when he tells them that black children should be learning how to speak English properly in order to succeed - not Ebonics.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with honoring your heritage. My mother's side were the Bailey's, my father's the Blair's, and if you go back far enough, according to Mr. Darwin, I have relatives that still swing in trees. I hate to toss out a softball like that, but I do enjoy giving you an easy target from time to time.
Finding a workable immigration program should be child's play to our skilled politicians. Acting like children has been the modus operandi of the current Congress, and I don't expect much will happen on the immigration front next year either. The Republicans will tout their milquetoast efforts, and the Democrats will try and please everyone by saying and doing nothing of substance.
It's a hell of a way to run a hot dog stand isn't it? There isn't enough mustard in the world to cover all the wiener-whiners in Washington D.C.
As anyone who knows me will tell you, the color of your skin, your religion, your ethnicity, your gender, even your politics are not how I consider anyone. The kind of person you are means everything - just as it does to all of you in your everyday lives. People that you meet face to face are subject to your evaluation, whether you consciously think of it as such or not.
Here, prioritized no less, are my abhorrent views on immigration:
1.) We have been a nation of immigrants from the start, and we will always be a nation that welcomes those who wish to become one of us - an American. If you feel it necessary to apologize to Native Americans for what happened, I won't stop you, but I won't join you either. Different time, different values, and if you feel superior by denigrating the actions that created America, you can have my share of guilt too if it makes you feel better. The possibility that we are one man-made or celestial disaster away from the return of "might makes right" seldom occurs to the civilized sophisticates of today.
2.) We must secure our borders first. Apparently the President and 99% of the politicians in this country haven't been listening to what the majority of Americans want when it comes to immigration. We want secure borders first and foremost.
If you haven't heard of or read the story in the Washington Times, then you owe it to yourself to check this story out. I first heard about it on Fox News, then got to the article link through the Drudge Report. Here's the link: http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071126/NATION/111260034/1001
For as little as $20,000, drug lords have apparently already helped some terrorists cross into this country, a mere 20 miles from Fort Huachuca, the largest intelligence training center the Army has. I know, it could happen on the Canadian border as well. However, if you wish to be pragmatic and intellectually honest, the Mexican border is the priority. To suggest otherwise is nonsense.
Let's pretend for a moment that Henry Waxman says he has proof that this was all a "wag the dog" effort by Dick Cheney, and that's why he's got an irregular heartbeat.
We're still left with all the nightmarish possibilities the human mind is capable of conceiving; we're still left with drug lords that supply the vast majority of cocaine, methamphetamine, pot and heroin to the US; we're still left facing a country that assists its citizens in illegally crossing the border, while the corruption of government does nothing to address the issues that force their citizens to leave in the first place, and we're still left holding the bag in terms of medical costs, jail costs, education costs, court costs, etc. for those who have broken the law in order to get here. I don't know about you, but I'm paying all the freaking taxes I can stand right now!
3.) Create a guest worker program & fine/jail employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens. People of good conscience occupy both sides of the aisles, so a workable program is possible. Blanket amnesty didn't work when President Reagan tried it, and it won't work now either. Gang bangers, anyone with a felony conviction - these folks need to experience jails in their country of origin at the expense of their fellow citizens.
The objective of any immigrant should be to become an American. This current "diversity" drive is rampant in corporate boardrooms, blooming with verbal fertilizer in academia, and hailed by the media as a panacea for the soul of the nation.
I'm in favor of starting up the melting pot again. The first ones in would be the secular progressives and the cowpies at the ACLU. They won't melt, they won't go away, and they won't be injured in any way, but their hot air and BS gets the water to a boiling temperature much faster than wood. Next, we mix in all the legal immigrants who are working towards American citizenship. They want to be in the pot anyway - that's why they came here.
Next, we'll work in those who may have come here illegally, but have stayed out of trouble, raised a family, and have learned, or are trying to learn, how to speak English. Please insert accusations of racism here, the same way some black people do to Bill Cosby when he tells them that black children should be learning how to speak English properly in order to succeed - not Ebonics.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with honoring your heritage. My mother's side were the Bailey's, my father's the Blair's, and if you go back far enough, according to Mr. Darwin, I have relatives that still swing in trees. I hate to toss out a softball like that, but I do enjoy giving you an easy target from time to time.
Finding a workable immigration program should be child's play to our skilled politicians. Acting like children has been the modus operandi of the current Congress, and I don't expect much will happen on the immigration front next year either. The Republicans will tout their milquetoast efforts, and the Democrats will try and please everyone by saying and doing nothing of substance.
It's a hell of a way to run a hot dog stand isn't it? There isn't enough mustard in the world to cover all the wiener-whiners in Washington D.C.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Ignorance as Bliss
Staying away from newspapers, radio and television is the double-edged sword that lies before me as I continue to struggle with depression. Having been a political junkie since a very early age, going cold turkey has been difficult. The use of the word "junkie" in this sense should carry every negative connotation that one associates with a heroin addict, or any other kind of junkie.
I feel great because I don't have any idea what's going on in the world, for which I also feel guilty. Now there's a line that's just begging for pop psychological interpretation.
I tried to take a quick peak at the Drudge Report the other day, and I saw that Herr Chavez says you'll be a traitor if you don't vote for the change in the law that will allow him to run again in 2012 (refer to my predictions in earlier blogs - anyone could have seen that one coming), the surge in Iraq is going well and even reported as such by the NY Times and the Washington Post (must be they were purchased by a vast right wing conspiracy group), and a true eco-warrier had himself neutered because it's selfish to have children.
I thought it was also necessary to propitiate the species.
(11-25-07 Thanks to Sir C for noting that propigate was the intended meaning and word, not propitiate)
I think I'll just look for the truly odd stories for a while, but then again, a lot of them are on the front page, just above the fold.
I feel great because I don't have any idea what's going on in the world, for which I also feel guilty. Now there's a line that's just begging for pop psychological interpretation.
I tried to take a quick peak at the Drudge Report the other day, and I saw that Herr Chavez says you'll be a traitor if you don't vote for the change in the law that will allow him to run again in 2012 (refer to my predictions in earlier blogs - anyone could have seen that one coming), the surge in Iraq is going well and even reported as such by the NY Times and the Washington Post (must be they were purchased by a vast right wing conspiracy group), and a true eco-warrier had himself neutered because it's selfish to have children.
I thought it was also necessary to propitiate the species.
(11-25-07 Thanks to Sir C for noting that propigate was the intended meaning and word, not propitiate)
I think I'll just look for the truly odd stories for a while, but then again, a lot of them are on the front page, just above the fold.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
You Can Never Tell With Some Guys
I know, I thought the same thing when I first saw the title - what's the big deal? Happens all the time. Then I noticed the canine and I was sari I had made another assumption. Once this story starts making news, look for Governor Spitzer to proclaim dog/marriage licenses legal as long as there is guilt to be assuaged. The gay-lesbian-transgender community will then start a recall effort, supported by all county clerks, dog catchers, and the NRA.
Just when you think its okay being a guy - proud descendant of Adam - you hear of a masculidiot in Florida who makes all men step back in disgust. Imagine winning the lottery and not telling your wife about it. Having given much forethought to how things would proceed, our hero unplugs the TV for days; no radio, no paper - like Wilma is living in Bedrock and doesn't watch Fox News. Anyway, she finds out, gets a lawyer . . . write your own ending. I will not mention the name of this maladroit for fear of giving him unjust recognition. Google away if you must know if the sordid details.
As a species, we should forever give thanks to our maker that He created a man and a woman, and then gave them both the capacity to be as dumb as a box of rocks.
Giving thanks for the brighter side of life is easy once you've had a glimpse of what its like on the darker side.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Life & Love
My previous reference to the Mills Brothers will be lost on most younger folks, and if you don't know the group, chances are you don't know the song either. However, the title pretty much says it all.
In lieu of a lengthy apology to all who are due one, I'll let this picture speak to you:
If you're really lucky, the one's you love forgive you.
In lieu of a lengthy apology to all who are due one, I'll let this picture speak to you:
If you're really lucky, the one's you love forgive you.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Few Things I've Learned
Depressive disorders effect about 19 million people in the US every year. A couple of new words that apparently applied to me:
Dysthymia: A less severe type of depression that involves long lasting symptoms that do not seriously disable, but it can keep you from feeling good or functioning well. Many people with this form will also experience major depression episodes in their lives - which was what happened to me 2 weeks ago.
I've been so happy since my return home, now I'm concerned that I might be:
Bi-polar / Manic Depressive: the yo-yo of depression. When you're up, you're a non-stop party animal, and when you're down, depression seems like a step above where you are.
Anhedonia: lacking the ability to feel pleasure. Does that sound familiar to anyone? That was my life in a nutshell, and for those that know me, inability to feel pleasure has never been a problem for me before.
Men, in many cases, consider depression to be stigmatic, so we resort to macho BS, work 24-7, drink and/or drug excessively, and sometimes just blow our brains out. Gentlemen - get a clue! It is NOT unmanly to ask for help and there is no need to view depression as anything other than what it truly is - the same as breaking a bone. It's just an internal breakdown that can be treated and cured. If you have to take medication to make sure that Sir Richard comes to full attention upon the Queen's demand, what's the big deal about repairing the space between your ears?
Getting involved - if I learned nothing else, I've learned that there are a lot of other people out there just like me who need help, and who better to give it to them than those of us who have been through it. I started feeling better as soon as I started participating in groups and sharing with the other people who were there with me. I am not suggesting that anyone other than trained professionals should deal with the serious issues, but a shoulder to cry on and using your ears as they were intended to be used are powerful tools - never underestimate the power of a hug!
To the anonymous person who posted and indicated they were thinking of getting help but couldn't afford it I have these few words: You can't afford NOT to get help.
Many places work on a sliding scale, and if you don't have any money, go to your local county mental health clinic and ask to speak to someone. There is no shame, there is only the pain that you are suffering through needlessly. Help is available! If you need any suggestions or any assistance getting pointed in the right direction, feel free to contact me at my email address:
bblairjr@hotmail.com, and I'll be happy to find someone in your area that can help you.
If you've never heard that old Mills Brothers' tune "You Only Hurt The One You Love", see if you can find it and give a listen. That will get you prepared for the next posting.
I'm off to church and Sunday School with a lightness in my heart and in my step that has been missing for quite a while. I am still in the woods; I always will be, but at least now I've got a compass and a whole lot of people to help me find my way.
God Bless and have a wonderful Sunday!
Dysthymia: A less severe type of depression that involves long lasting symptoms that do not seriously disable, but it can keep you from feeling good or functioning well. Many people with this form will also experience major depression episodes in their lives - which was what happened to me 2 weeks ago.
I've been so happy since my return home, now I'm concerned that I might be:
Bi-polar / Manic Depressive: the yo-yo of depression. When you're up, you're a non-stop party animal, and when you're down, depression seems like a step above where you are.
Anhedonia: lacking the ability to feel pleasure. Does that sound familiar to anyone? That was my life in a nutshell, and for those that know me, inability to feel pleasure has never been a problem for me before.
Men, in many cases, consider depression to be stigmatic, so we resort to macho BS, work 24-7, drink and/or drug excessively, and sometimes just blow our brains out. Gentlemen - get a clue! It is NOT unmanly to ask for help and there is no need to view depression as anything other than what it truly is - the same as breaking a bone. It's just an internal breakdown that can be treated and cured. If you have to take medication to make sure that Sir Richard comes to full attention upon the Queen's demand, what's the big deal about repairing the space between your ears?
Getting involved - if I learned nothing else, I've learned that there are a lot of other people out there just like me who need help, and who better to give it to them than those of us who have been through it. I started feeling better as soon as I started participating in groups and sharing with the other people who were there with me. I am not suggesting that anyone other than trained professionals should deal with the serious issues, but a shoulder to cry on and using your ears as they were intended to be used are powerful tools - never underestimate the power of a hug!
To the anonymous person who posted and indicated they were thinking of getting help but couldn't afford it I have these few words: You can't afford NOT to get help.
Many places work on a sliding scale, and if you don't have any money, go to your local county mental health clinic and ask to speak to someone. There is no shame, there is only the pain that you are suffering through needlessly. Help is available! If you need any suggestions or any assistance getting pointed in the right direction, feel free to contact me at my email address:
bblairjr@hotmail.com, and I'll be happy to find someone in your area that can help you.
If you've never heard that old Mills Brothers' tune "You Only Hurt The One You Love", see if you can find it and give a listen. That will get you prepared for the next posting.
I'm off to church and Sunday School with a lightness in my heart and in my step that has been missing for quite a while. I am still in the woods; I always will be, but at least now I've got a compass and a whole lot of people to help me find my way.
God Bless and have a wonderful Sunday!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Hello Again
It was quite an interesting 7 days in Watertown. I felt akin to Gilligan but without the benefit of Mary Ann or Ginger - at least that was my initial reaction.
First, my list of thank you's:
My Family: Not every one who suffers clinical depression is lucky enough to have a family that cares enough to step in and force you in the right direction - even when you're being a total jerk. Case in point - I walked into the Lewis Country General Emergency Room, the room was packed, and I said "To hell with this - I'm not waiting around!", and out the door I went. The next thing I knew, I had the local constabulary, the Sheriff's Department, and a State Trooper asking me if we were going to have a problem getting me in the ER. Funny thing - I went right to the head of the line - no waiting. Not the normal process I'll grant you, but when your daughter dials 911 and tells the operator that Whack Daddy is on the loose, it's much more efficient then tipping the maitre d'.
My Brother: Thank you Joe for the phone calls, the love and support, and for keeping people posted on my progress. I have no better friend than you.
Samaritan Staff: Up and down the line, from psychiatrist to nurse's aide, these folks showed the professionalism one would expect, and the compassion and concern that one needs. I completed my patient survey upon release and gave them positive reviews on everything but one item, which I wrote in big block letters: YOUR BED'S SUCK! This was greeted with laughter and a shrug that suggested if you wanted better beds, try Betty Ford.
My Mates: I did not have the opportunity to speak with everyone, but I did develop friendships and a change in attitude that was attributable to my mates as much as it was to the hospital staff. It's not all that difficult to understand: You can worry a lot about the kind of shoes you have to wear until you see a man with no feet.
My Friends: All of you, my dear friends, who offered prayers, words of encouragement and an honest concern for my welfare. Especially my dear friend Danger Democrat - your email was much appreciated.
I wrote with 2 pencils constantly in need of sharpening, and I'll be sharing some of that with you over the next few days, but I'm getting ready to go on a nature hike with my 8 year old grandson right now, so this will be brief - at least in my terms.
Having settled my crisis of faith, I decided to get the bible out and in the process, I reviewed the 10 Commandments, and then I thought of them as the ACLU would have written them:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thy neighbors wife nor his manservant (how come I don't have one of those?), nor his ox or his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's unless you can find a shyster lawyer who can create a heretofore unknown, idiotic reason to take it away from them legally.
We've come a long way in the past 2000 years haven't we.
I also would like to share this photo so you can see my new hair style, my new smile, and why I'm currently filling out an application to be a bearded lady at the circus:
Something tells me I should stay with my day job.
Thank you again everyone. The majority of recovery work begins after you've left the hospital. I have a counselor, a psychiatrist, and all of you - who could ask for anything more?
First, my list of thank you's:
My Family: Not every one who suffers clinical depression is lucky enough to have a family that cares enough to step in and force you in the right direction - even when you're being a total jerk. Case in point - I walked into the Lewis Country General Emergency Room, the room was packed, and I said "To hell with this - I'm not waiting around!", and out the door I went. The next thing I knew, I had the local constabulary, the Sheriff's Department, and a State Trooper asking me if we were going to have a problem getting me in the ER. Funny thing - I went right to the head of the line - no waiting. Not the normal process I'll grant you, but when your daughter dials 911 and tells the operator that Whack Daddy is on the loose, it's much more efficient then tipping the maitre d'.
My Brother: Thank you Joe for the phone calls, the love and support, and for keeping people posted on my progress. I have no better friend than you.
Samaritan Staff: Up and down the line, from psychiatrist to nurse's aide, these folks showed the professionalism one would expect, and the compassion and concern that one needs. I completed my patient survey upon release and gave them positive reviews on everything but one item, which I wrote in big block letters: YOUR BED'S SUCK! This was greeted with laughter and a shrug that suggested if you wanted better beds, try Betty Ford.
My Mates: I did not have the opportunity to speak with everyone, but I did develop friendships and a change in attitude that was attributable to my mates as much as it was to the hospital staff. It's not all that difficult to understand: You can worry a lot about the kind of shoes you have to wear until you see a man with no feet.
My Friends: All of you, my dear friends, who offered prayers, words of encouragement and an honest concern for my welfare. Especially my dear friend Danger Democrat - your email was much appreciated.
I wrote with 2 pencils constantly in need of sharpening, and I'll be sharing some of that with you over the next few days, but I'm getting ready to go on a nature hike with my 8 year old grandson right now, so this will be brief - at least in my terms.
Having settled my crisis of faith, I decided to get the bible out and in the process, I reviewed the 10 Commandments, and then I thought of them as the ACLU would have written them:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE ACLU
Thou shalt have no God before thee in public. Churches, synagogues, mosques and Motel 6's are okay.
Thou shalt not make for thyself a carved image - unless it's Bill or Hillary.
You can swear, insult, take the Lord's name in vain - pretty much whatever you want - it's all 1st Amendment stuff dude.
Remember to keep holy the Sabbath - 10% off at Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, and don't forget the Sunday NY Times.
Honor thy father and thy mother - even atheists do that so its okay and that's the best way to stay in the will.
Thou shalt not kill unless it is an unborn baby.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Please remember the Clinton Proviso - eatin' ain't cheatin'.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor, unless they are conservatives.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thy neighbors wife nor his manservant (how come I don't have one of those?), nor his ox or his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's unless you can find a shyster lawyer who can create a heretofore unknown, idiotic reason to take it away from them legally.
We've come a long way in the past 2000 years haven't we.
I also would like to share this photo so you can see my new hair style, my new smile, and why I'm currently filling out an application to be a bearded lady at the circus:
Something tells me I should stay with my day job.
Thank you again everyone. The majority of recovery work begins after you've left the hospital. I have a counselor, a psychiatrist, and all of you - who could ask for anything more?
Sunday, November 4, 2007
What's A Whacko To Do
In the months that have followed my daughter's death, I found that all the little mechanical, or even remotely mechanical (requires the dexterity of a third grader) things that used to irritate me no longer did. Instead of escalating blood pressure, an instant recognition of how petty the mishap helped to prevent the usual verbal and/or physical response.
That was until about two weeks ago. I've mentioned my ongoing struggle with depression, and the start of this latest bout was a physical awareness that something was happening. Then the split-second anger started. After that, an overwhelming feeling of apathy.
Being a Catholic, suicide is not an option, but I did something in church this morning that I have never done before. I knelt, and I prayed that God would strike me dead as I knelt in prayer. This was no passing whim, it was a heart felt desire to escape pain. Other than church the past two Sundays, I haven't left my house, and very seldom my bedroom. If you don't make friends or get to know people, you don't get hurt.
I've lost track, but I think it's 16-17 funerals in 18 months. You probably know better than I, since I know I've mentioned it on this blog before.
I have 3 children remaining, 4 grandchildren, friends and other family, a Fortune 500 company that has supported me and co-workers who have treated me like family - yet I could care less if I ever woke up tomorrow. I even took a few extra anti-depressants this morning just to make sure I didn't feel anything in church.
I'll spare you all the details, but family, friends, and other church members stepped in today to help me. It didn't really strike me until now, but I guess it was an "intervention", albeit a spiritual one. Then I spent much of the afternoon at the Emergency Room at Lewis County General and was only released because I promised the doctor, and my family, that I would go to Watertown tomorrow and admit myself for help. Don't worry, I'm not driving!
I don't know how many others have written on the web about what depression has done to their lives, but I hope to accomplish two things:
1.) Look back at some point in the future and realize what, if anything, has changed in my life.
2.) By this and other stories I can share, if it helps even one person trying to deal with depression, then it is worthwhile.
If you've experienced it and overcome it, if you're going through it, or if you are a family member who's had to deal with it and have insights you can share for other family members, please feel free to share your stories here. You can remain anonymous if you like, and I don't censor any posts - so feel free.
Since I'm not exactly sure what will transpire over the next few days, I have no idea when I'll be able to post again, but I will bring pencil and paper and do it the old fashioned way if need be. For all I know, they may only give me crayons.
For those of you who pray, your prayers are appreciated. My agnostic and atheist friends may send their healing auras in my direction, the essence of your auras are greatly appreciated.
If you're a liberal, you know there's no hope for sanity on my part, so just remember that your mother taught you that if you can't pray for something nice, don't pray for anything at all. I can't get into the specific definition or limitations of "nice" at this point, because I still don't know what "is", "is".
Who says you can't be crazy and have fun at the same time? Now where did I place that cuckoo's nest?
That was until about two weeks ago. I've mentioned my ongoing struggle with depression, and the start of this latest bout was a physical awareness that something was happening. Then the split-second anger started. After that, an overwhelming feeling of apathy.
Being a Catholic, suicide is not an option, but I did something in church this morning that I have never done before. I knelt, and I prayed that God would strike me dead as I knelt in prayer. This was no passing whim, it was a heart felt desire to escape pain. Other than church the past two Sundays, I haven't left my house, and very seldom my bedroom. If you don't make friends or get to know people, you don't get hurt.
I've lost track, but I think it's 16-17 funerals in 18 months. You probably know better than I, since I know I've mentioned it on this blog before.
I have 3 children remaining, 4 grandchildren, friends and other family, a Fortune 500 company that has supported me and co-workers who have treated me like family - yet I could care less if I ever woke up tomorrow. I even took a few extra anti-depressants this morning just to make sure I didn't feel anything in church.
I'll spare you all the details, but family, friends, and other church members stepped in today to help me. It didn't really strike me until now, but I guess it was an "intervention", albeit a spiritual one. Then I spent much of the afternoon at the Emergency Room at Lewis County General and was only released because I promised the doctor, and my family, that I would go to Watertown tomorrow and admit myself for help. Don't worry, I'm not driving!
I don't know how many others have written on the web about what depression has done to their lives, but I hope to accomplish two things:
1.) Look back at some point in the future and realize what, if anything, has changed in my life.
2.) By this and other stories I can share, if it helps even one person trying to deal with depression, then it is worthwhile.
If you've experienced it and overcome it, if you're going through it, or if you are a family member who's had to deal with it and have insights you can share for other family members, please feel free to share your stories here. You can remain anonymous if you like, and I don't censor any posts - so feel free.
Since I'm not exactly sure what will transpire over the next few days, I have no idea when I'll be able to post again, but I will bring pencil and paper and do it the old fashioned way if need be. For all I know, they may only give me crayons.
For those of you who pray, your prayers are appreciated. My agnostic and atheist friends may send their healing auras in my direction, the essence of your auras are greatly appreciated.
If you're a liberal, you know there's no hope for sanity on my part, so just remember that your mother taught you that if you can't pray for something nice, don't pray for anything at all. I can't get into the specific definition or limitations of "nice" at this point, because I still don't know what "is", "is".
Who says you can't be crazy and have fun at the same time? Now where did I place that cuckoo's nest?
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