Sherri Turned 30

Sherri turned 30 yesterday. I don't know Sherri's last name, only that her co-workers care enough about her to put black balloons all over the medical office where she works. Bouncing around the office at 4:30 pm, she was ready for a night on the town the last time I saw her. I hope her headache isn't too bad this morning.

I took my grandson back to Amsterdam NY yesterday, and my youngest daughter was already down there visiting friends. We met briefly in a McDonald's parking lot so she could see her nephew before I took him back to his Mom. My daughter asked if I wanted to take home a bag of Beth's clothes that she had left with a friend the last time she was in Amsterdam. In that brief instant, I realized how casually we say "...the last time I was here or there ...etc.", and I also realized that the phrase "last time" can carry a finality that is as brutal as it is inevitable.

The tears were spontaneous, and it was a thoughtful drive to Utica. Then I met Sherri, and though I wished her a happy birthday, the only thought that kept running through my mind is that Beth will always be 27. In a few weeks, we will begin the now annual recognition of the fact that "Beth would have been 28 today ...etc,. etc."

The drive from Utica to Lowville was worse than the drive from Amsterdam to Utica. I had tears in my eyes as I pulled into our driveway, greeted by the sight of Koda, the little dog that Beth had paid $300 for as a gift to her Mom. I guess Koda thought I was going to pull to left and park on the hill, but I went straight and Koda died. The image of him running towards the car and the sound of the tires rolling over him will never leave me.

As I write this early on Thursday morning, I wonder what the new day holds in store. I don't know how many tears are left for today, because I used most of them up yesterday, but if I need them, I'm sure they'll come.

There is one thing of which I am certain - whatever happens in this life, there is usually a purpose, even if we can't see it. Sometimes we never understand what befalls us; but quitting is not an option - not if you believe in the sanctity of life. At times like these, faith is my pillar, and I sometimes wonder if atheists believe in Karma, or just the bumper sticker "Shit Happens".

I'll leave you today with these few lines from a song I wrote for an agnostic friend of mine:

Make your choice, only time will tell
If up is heaven and down is hell
There's no denying this simple truth
Faith is believing when you don't have proof

As the now popular saying goes:

God won't give me anything that I can't handle - I just wish he didn't trust me so much!

Until next time my friends, enjoy your day and squeeze every bit of joy and life you can out of it.