The John Edwards Bumper Sticker Company & Benito Jr.

If you act now, you can get on in the ground floor of an exciting new business. What is this once in a lifetime opportunity? It's an endeavor called the "John Edwards Rear-bumper Kompany - also know as J.E.R.K.

When the Breck-Boy decided that the war on terrorism was just a "bumper sticker" slogan and had no real grounding in reality, it was simply a matter of time before he was proven to be successfully inane. Although the initial sales of his J.E.R.K. stickers were slated for Great Britain, J.E.R.K. officials have decided to start their sales campaign in San Francisco. Since Mrs. Edwards has averred she is in favor of gay marriage, as opposed to her husband's views, those folks who are used to having things stuck on/in/around/ their bumpers are considered to be friendly consumers.

Having lost my mother to cancer, I can assure you that as one human being to another, I pray for Mrs. Edwards and a successful recovery from her disease. However, when you place yourself in the public eye, regardless of what infirmities or sorrows life sends your way, you become fair game for the opinion of others - which is why sane people don't run for political office.

Mrs. Edwards, acting on the spur of the moment, decided to call in to a talk show this week and take on Ann Coulter, who was being interviewed at the time. She did a very commendable whining routine, taking a portion of Anne's comments out of context to try and bring in some funds for her husbands waning campaign.

For the lemmings who automatically side with the Breck's, here's what Ms. Coulter said:

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't insult gays by comparing them to John Edwards. That would be mean. But about the same time - you know - Bill Maher was not joking and saying he wished Dick Cheney had been killed in a terrorist attack. So I've learned my lesson. If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot."

By intentionally omitting the reference to Bill Maher from the quote, you've got your headline for your campaign funding efforts. You haven't lied, but your "error of omission" achieves your goal of demonizing the person being quoted and making your candidate more sympathetic.

I find that Ann Coulter, although incredibly intelligent, is so over the top at times that her valid observations are often lost in acerbic wit. That aspect of her personality should provide all the quotes that any candidate would ever want without the need to be disingenuous and take quotes out of context.

Speaking of quotes, I return now to Benito Jr. down in Venezuela. Since folks who read the local paper and local Citgo station owners are probably sick of seeing my letters to the editor, I'll confine this diatribe to the blog.

From "guardian.co.uk/venezuela/story/":

"President Hugo Chavez has ordered Venezuela's armed forces to prepare for a guerilla war against the United States, saying there must be a strategy to defeat the superpower if it invades."

"He said that while in Minsk (Russia) he would put the 'final touches' to a deal to buy an air defense system with long-range radar and missles in Moscow and he would discuss the possible purchase of submarines. Venezuela has recently purchased $3 billion worth of Russian weapons including 53 military helicopters, 24 SU-30 Sukhoi fighter jets and 100,000 Kalashnikov assault rifles."

'The Brazilian President has declared his atomic energy initiatives, and Brazil has a right to that as well. Who knows, maybe Venezuela will ultimately follow suit.'

From the Associated Press, Friday June 29, by Yuras Karmanau, AP writer:

"...Thursday night with Putin the two men agreed to create a fund to support joint projects. With Russia's help , Venezeuala is ready to build four oil refineries and plans another 13 ...He (Chavez) also invited Russian oil companies to help develop the Orinoco River basin, recognized as the world's single-largest known oil deposit, potentially holding 1.2 billion barrels of extra-heavy crude."

Benito Jr. is making the offer because he's nationalized (read - usurped, taken, stole) Venezuela's oil industry and made terms so onerous that Exxon Mobil Corp. and ConocoPhillips refused to sign a deal with Venezuela, while other major oil companies, including those from Great Britain, France and Norway, have agreed to getting screwed without benefit of lubricant.

If you are not currently boycotting Citgo, it's not too late to start. How long do we let someone empty the chamber pot on our heads and tell us it's rain before we figure out that rain is not normally yellow in color?

Currently, Benito Jr. is just a nuiscance, but the longer we keep sending him millions of dollars for oil, the more likely it is that he will graduate from Nuisance Academy and become a fervent disciple of The Church of Global Terrorism.