While deleting old files from "My Documents", I came across the following that was sent to me a while back, but for the life of me I can't remember who sent it. Sound familiar?
Two posts in one day is not my usual modus operandi, but I thought it was funny and I didn't want to forget about the document, much less who sent it to me. Personally, I think the picture answers the question.
Without further ado, I give you:
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? An American Response
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. (Editor's Note: The guy may be right, but he's still a pretentious pain-in-the-ass)
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. (Editor's Note: The guy may be right, but he's still a pretentious pain-in-the-ass)
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish a life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This is a new platform much more stable and will never reboot
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? (Editor’s Note: I heard that somewhere in the 70's, may have even experienced it once or twice.)
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? (This one is for DD & PCS)
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white. We need some black chickens.
PEE WEE HERMAN: It wasn't because I was choking it.
And with that, I bid you a pleasant evening.
3 comments:
You are a bigot. An ignorant racist without a clue. Unfortunately, the people around you have apparently never told you and you have a self-inflated sense of self-worth so you don't bother to really think about what you say.
Maybe they haven't told you because you're such a loudmouth idiot that they can't bear to have a conversation with you about anything substantial let alone anything that involves your self-awareness.
Well at least you changed your name to "sir anonymous" - leave off the "in the woods" - you haven't displayed sufficient intellect to claim that moniker as yet.
For those of you reading the comment for the first time, you can also find it in my blog "Important Legislation Passed". Apparently when you're busy demonizing, you have preset quotes that you just paste in. Way to go Mr. Originality.
As I noted after your first witty reply, please try to be more specific as to what qualifies me as a bigot - at least we'd have a point to discuss, though I'm not certain that discussion is on your agenda.
I don't mind the "sir", as long as you've got a pair you can claim that title, though I doubt they're sufficient to the purpose.
You have a wonderful day and keep the fan mail coming.
It turns out that "sir anonymous in the woods" is actually my friend "sir charles in the woods", who was busting my chops in the tone of a previous comment. You had me fooled you old fart. So to the "anonymous" who was "NI" (Not so Intelligent", my apologies for thinking it was you. To Sir Charles, thanks for demostrating your wry sense of humor - lessons in humility are always welcome.
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